Bear Down Baffa

There are two days this year that I’ll hate Bret Favre more than a Packer fan.  The first was Sunday.  In a battle of the first place Twin Cities and the worst place Second City, there was (at least theoretically) potential for a great match-up, with the Vikings out-ranking the Bears in every statistic they record, and the Bears having nothing to lose.  But the missing ingredient for the Bears was the ability to win, which is one of the many things on their Christmas list this year.  And the result was what has become commonplace:  1) the Bears did not play well, and 2) the Bears did not win.

We’ve now lost 4 in a row, and 6 of 7.  That’s a .142 winning percentage since Oct 5, or 44% of our schedule.  Even throwing this game aside because Minn is clearly a dominant force in the NFC, the Bears are critically injured, on life support, and currently lying beneath the watchful eye of Obamacare’s Death Squads.  And it’s just a matter of time before the plug is yanked like the cord on a lawnmower by his merry band of Socialistic Nazis.  (more…)

Not to anyone’s surprise, Philly phoned in the Bear’s season Sunday night.  But at least this one was close.  Somehow, we managed to score 20 points.  The defense forced 3 turnovers and got 3 sacks.  And despite trailing most of the game, we actually had the lead with less than 6 minutes to play.  Yes, the Bears finally showed some signs of life, playing their best game in a month, and giving us reason to tune in next Sunday.  But it wasn’t enough.  And unlike last year, when we beat Philly and they went on to win the final Wild Card spot, there will be no reversal of fortune.

Having now lost 3 in a row, and 5 of our last 6, Bears fans will no longer be watching with post season aspirations.  No, we’ll be resigned to watching with scant hopes for an occasional, and most likely surprising, victory.  And that, dear friends, is our 2009 season.  (more…)

The Chicago Bears have now lost 4 out of 5, and have entered crisis mode.  The Homeland Security Advisory System (HSAS) raised our threat level to red, or “Severe,” meaning there’s a severe risk the Bears may be allergic to the Red Zone.  But I don’t think this is a time to point fingers, partly because it’s not nice to point at people, but mostly because no one has enough fingers for all the blame that needs to go around.

(more…)

It’s getting hard to tell the difference between Bear losses.  They’ve become so frequent and so lopsided that they’ve started to blend together.  We’ve now lost three out of four while allowing 40 points twice in the last three weeks.  Granted, we were without our two best defensive players in the two blowouts, with Urlacher being injured and Tommie “I Find New Ways To Fail You Each Week” Harris being benched at Cincy and getting kicked out today on the game’s fifth play.  But injuries are not an excuse, and neither is stupidity.

AZ’s Kurt Warner picked the Bear’s defense apart.  He found holes in everything they threw at him, revealing deficiencies in both their preparation and execution, as well as an overall lack of competence – much like Katie Couric did when she interviewed Sarah Palin.  And that’s exactly who the Bear’s D has become.  Think about it; they’re polarizing, they quit early on their constituents and their best days appear to be behind them.  (more…)

You gotta take a W whenever it comes, so I’ll take this one.  But I’m not planning any parades down Michigan Avenue just yet.  The Bears did bring the Browns down to Chinatown alright.  But you have to consider that in this analogy, the Browns were actually a group of Chinese people that were heading down to Chinatown at the time.  All the Bears really did was give them a lift.  So no, there was no Gatorade shower for Lovie.

After the Bears faked a trip to the Appalachian Trail last weekend and instead spent it in Cincinnati padding Chad Ochocinco’s stats, this victory is like I imagine the make-up sex would be for the wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford – if she caught him in the act on TV seven days ago: uncomfortable and unfulfilling, but a necessary step toward reconciliation.    (more…)