Bear Down Baffa

The Bears took their shit international again Sunday, playing on British soil for the first time since a preseason victory over Dallas after winning the ’86 Super Bowl.  And they made their 16-hour round-trip flight worth the effort by moving their record there to 2-0.  But that didn’t alleviate the annoyance of American commentators using English terminology and brutalizing British accents all week.  If I hear one more person say we went “across the pond,” I may go postal.  It’s an ocean people, not a pond.  You’re not cool, clever or funny.  Now if you said “the pond would be good for you,” then you’d be all three of those things.

Wembley plays host to Bears for first time in 25 years

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Unlike Detroit, it’s been a rough go for Minnesota lately.  The Twinkies went from 94 wins to 99 losses, the Wild haven’t made the playoffs in 4 years, and the T-wolves haven’t finished above .300 since ’06.  And since upgrading from Tarvaris “How Did This Team Start Me With a Straight Face” Jackson to Bret “Have You Seen My Wenus” Favre (and missing the Super Bowl by one ill-advised pass two years ago), they’ve backslid to Donovan “I’m Doing More Damage to My Legacy At the End of My Career Than Bret ‘Have You Seen My Wenus’ Favre” McNabb.  Add in their state’s presidential candidate Michele Bachmann being almost as ridiculous as Sarah Palin, electing Al Franken to the Senate seems to be the only thing that state has going for it (other than Sarah Palin not being from there).  You betcha!

“Seven” Hester in all his ridiculousness

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It’s been quite a run in Detroit of  late – and quite the opposite in Chitown.  The White Sax finished 16 games behind the Tigers, the Chubbies had 24 more losses, the Black Hawks finished 3.5 games behind the Red Wings, and now the Bears are 3 games behind the Lions in Roctober.  We did tie in convicted elected officials, but I don’t think that – or even the Bulls finishing 32 games ahead of the Pistons – really does much to cancel it out.  But hey, at least you can still buy a crackhouse in Detroit for less than the price of a bag of crack!

Apparently Detroit no longer sucks – We do

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“And the bass keeps runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and runnin’ runnin’, and…”

I’m not a big fan of the Black Eyed Peas, but the Bears certainly “got it started in here” on Sunday.  We woke up running, got on the bus running, got off the bus running, and came out of the locker room running – running like the nose of a fevered cokehead cutting an onion in a blizzard.  And it wasn’t limited to the offense.  The team introduced the Special Teams squad during pre-game festivities, which Lovie tries to do twice a season.  And if this game were a novel, that act would be considered foreshadowing – much like the Tea Party Debates have foreshadowed the forthcoming Armageddon.

“Seven” Hester Sets Soldierz Aflame During Introductions

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