Bear Down Baffa

OK, everyone needs to just calm down for a minute.  Fan reaction is that our season is over after Hanie’s first full game, and if I had a nickle for every person who said they “missed” Cutler, I could afford to pay Forte what he deserves.  Of course you miss him, dumbasses.  Talk about stating the obvious.  We traded 15 draft picks for him, and Caleb Hanie (whom most people wouldn’t recognize if he was hanging out outside Soldierz wearing his own jersey) is an undrafted backup who hadn’t thrown a pass all season.  Were you thinking he was going to step in and we wouldn’t notice Cutler was out?  STFU already.  It’s ridonculous.

Hanie disappeared into “the Black Hole” of Oakland

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Attention All Quarterbacks:  When you throw a pick and the guy returning it gets anywhere near you, let him go man.  Like a set of keys dropped in hot molten lava, just let him go.  Put your head down, head to the sidelines and check your smart phone for sexts from your supermodel girlfriend.

What has two thumbs and is headed for a 6-8 week vacation?  THIS guy!

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The Bears said good-bye to third place for the first time since 9/18, and hello to global domination.  In the time between the National Transitional Council taking Libya’s seat at the UN and the National Liberation Army sticking an unidentified object up Muammar Gaddafi’s soon-to-be-dead ass, we crawled our way back into a tie for second place.  Despite coming off a short week and the Lions coming off a bye, the Bears devoured the Lions like Oprah getting after an ice cream cake with a shitty book underneath it.

Lion fans fall back into familiar territory – embarrassment

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So much for the Bears being 8 point dogs.  We flipped the script and gave Philly the business like a Penn State football coach on a teenager’s ass in the shower.  And after beating them in the regular season for the fourth time in the last five years, we’re dominating this series like a Texas Governor on a death row inmate.  Philly tried to beef up this off season by adding 6 former Pro Bowlers, even declaring themselves the “dream team” during training camp.  But after we groped Vick like Herman Cain playing Marco Polo with one eye open in a hot tub filled to capacity with hot women, the only thing they’re dreaming about is being as awesome as the 5-3 Bears.

Bears stalk the Eagles like Penn State coaches stalk little boys

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