Bear Down Baffa

Jay Cutler’s manpussy was penetrated on Sunday, then he limped off the field like a porn star after shooting an extended gangbang scene.  And with him he carried the Bears 2013-14 season like Senator Ted Cruz taking his ball home after not getting his way.  Despite Josh “Cade McNown” McCown playing extremely well – for him that is, which means he was serviceable – it is clear that our mediocre, Urlacher-less defense cannot carry us without the Butler.  Now I love a good gangbang as much as the next guy, but we’ve just lost 3 out of 4 WITH Cutler.  So I’ve resigned myself to a long, cold winter with little to look forward to – except maybe the Cutler gangbang DVD which is due out in December.

Cutler’s tweaked lady business will keep him sidelined at least 4 weeks

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On a short week after losing two straight, the Bears pulled out a big win and earned back the Supa Bow birth that they set aflame over the past two weeks.  Sure, it was against an 0-5 team, but it’s an NFC team and that will help us if we get into a tie-breaker.  And like a straight guy in prison, this win was the gay sex we needed to get us by.  And while the prisoner would be one step closer to his parole, we’re one step closer to da Supa Bow.

Marshall Marshalling

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Hickory Dickory Dock,
Our O-Line cannot block.
Cutler sucks asses,
Earl Bennett drops passes,
And on fourth and one, Briggs jumps out of his jock.

Clever and disparaging nursery rhymes aside, the Chicago Bears’ season has taken a sharp turn for the worse.  And by that I mean doctors discovered an aneurysm in its ass.  Going back to last year, we’re now 3-3 at home in our last 6 games.  So much for homefield advantage.  The one thing you can say is that we have been consistent; consistently bad that is.  If we wanted to play that way, we could’ve just stayed with Lovie.  Speaking of him, I don’t think he found a new job yet.  Anyone got his number?

Cutler during his typical, early fumble that leads to points

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