Bear Down Baffa

We had ’em.  We were up 14-3 at the end of the first quarter, and our season appeared to have come out of its coma.  Children from the Ukraine to Zimbabwe were rejoicing.  But then the 2014 Chicago Bears destroyed their dreams.  We gave up 21 straight points in the second quarter, Robbie “It’s Been Six Weeks Since I Kicked A FG” Gould kicked his first FG in six weeks in the third, and then we gave up another 10 in the fourth.  It’s a different way of losing, yes.  But it’s still losing.  And that appears to be all this highly-touted, over-priced, piece-meal-since-we-let-Urlacher-go-over-money embarassment of a team is good for.  So fuck them, and fuck you.

The (sucks!) moniker changed hands
in Detroit on Thanksgiving Day, 2014

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It was a former Head Coach against his replacement, a former backup QB against the starter, and two losebag teams scratching for that hard-to-come-by win.  And in some minor miracle of an event, the Bears won (WTF?!) for the second week in a row.  A 2-game winning streak is a lot to celebrate, right?  Uhm, no.  Let’s remember that we’re still 5-6, we beat a 2-8 team with a new HC and QB, at home, and only by a TD.  But considering the alternative – losing to a 2-8 team with a new HC and QB at home – I will take it like a hit of crack if I was Rob Ford at Marion Barry’s funeral!  Let’s just not get on our knees and start blowing each other about it, n-k?

Cutler 1, McCown 0

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It may have taken us 10 games to get our first home win of the year, but after losing 3 straight and 5 of 6 – including giving up 106 points in the last 2 games – the Bears pulled out their first victory in over a month on Sunday.  And in doing so, we advance to 4-6, and move back into third place.  We might have beaten a shitty team, but we gotta beat the shitty teams to get back to being an average team.  And while average is still a long way off for us, today we are not a shitty team.  And with our talent, that’s enough.  Supa Bow, Supa Bears!

“He Went To” Jared Allen finally got his first win at Soldierz

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Well, what can you say other than boy the Pack really put it on us, huh?  It would’ve been the ass-whooping of a lifetime if the exact same thing didn’t just fucking happen in our last game!  So in this case, it was just a Sunday evening at Lambeau.  We were down 42-0 at halftime, and GB fumbled once on our goal line, so it was actually worse than the score indicates.  It’s the most points the Bears have ever allowed in any half, and of course it’s also our largest point differential since we didn’t score any fucking points!  Seriously, the only reason I watched the second half was to see if anybody got killed.

Bear down!  No, seriously, there’s a bear down!  Call a vet!

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