Bear Down Baffa

Well, what can you say other than boy the Pack really put it on us, huh?  It would’ve been the ass-whooping of a lifetime if the exact same thing didn’t just fucking happen in our last game!  So in this case, it was just a Sunday evening at Lambeau.  We were down 42-0 at halftime, and GB fumbled once on our goal line, so it was actually worse than the score indicates.  It’s the most points the Bears have ever allowed in any half, and of course it’s also our largest point differential since we didn’t score any fucking points!  Seriously, the only reason I watched the second half was to see if anybody got killed.

Bear down!  No, seriously, there’s a bear down!  Call a vet!

First Half

• GB had more yards on TD passes (192) than we did in total offense (161).
• GB gained 358 total yards, but we actually ran more plays (38-36).
• GB averaged 9.9 per play, and Rodgers averaged 13.1 yards per pass play (pass PLAY, not completion).
• Rodgers threw as many TD’s as he did incompletions (6).
• Rodgers’s QBR was 156.3.

Looking for answers?  I don’t even think Trestman knows the questions.

Second Half

• GB punted for the first time in 17 drives against us this year.
• We got another punt blocked (as I’ve been predicting for weeks), and it was by a defender’s foot.  He got their so quickly that it was like a jump-ball, but both were using their shoe.
• Our lone offensive TD ended GB’s run of 66 unanswered points going back to our last game with them.
• Cutler threw a Pick-6 that actually bounced off Kyle “Get Your Fucking Head Out Of The Way!” Long’s helmet.
• We picked the worst time to return a kickoff for a TD: when down 48 with 10:27 left.  Before we start crowning Chris “I’m No Hester” Williams the next Hester, it was his tenth return of the game – even a broken squirrel gets a clock once a day.

Maybe Cutler doesn’t speak Canadian?

Finale

• We lost 55-14 despite both teams having 21 first downs.
• We had 11 penalties for 163 yards and almost as many yards on kick returns (288) as total offense (311).
• We are the first team since 1923 to give up 50+ in back-to-back games, and only the second team in NFL history.
• GB tied a franchise record for most points scored at Lambeau (55).
• Over the last 11 games, Trestman’s Bears have given up 50+ points 3 times.  In the previous 759 Bears games, we’ve given up 50+ points 3 times.

McCarthy was the first to wish Trestman well on his firing

Quotes to Note
Chris Collinsworth early in the second quarter: “This is downright embarrassing.  This is a proud franchise that is being humiliated so far here tonight.” ~ And the Pack was just getting warmed up, people.

Al “Do You Believe In Miracles?!” Michaels after Peppers sacked Cutler, stripped him and recovered the fumble: “That’s your hatrick.  Sack, forced fumble, recovery.” ~ Is that irony?  Or a juxtaposition?  Or does it just royally suck?

He who sacks, strips and recovers last sacks, strips and recovers best

Collinsworth on Clay Matthews: “I mean this guy is exploding all over the field!”  ~ Keep it in your pants, Chris.

Collinsworth moments later: “I want Clay Matthews inside me.  I don’t care if it’s in my mouth or anywhere else, I just want him somewhere inside of my body.”  ~ OK, so I made this one up.  Nobody’s reading this anyway.  But everyone who watched probably thought they heard this at some point last night.

 Matthews had 11 tackles, 1 sack and 1 confirmed kill

Collinsworth also told a touching story of Bear Defensive Coordinator Mel Tucker admitting to paying in cash lately instead of using credit cards.  Tucker’s thought is that if they see his card, they’d see his name and recognize who he was.  That is how bad it’s gotten, ladies and gentlemen, and that guy is the DC for the Chicago Fucking Bears!  That’s like the leader of a ruthless gang being too embarrassed to flash their sign to his homies on the street.  This guy should be gone by noon on Monday.

I guess this is what it feels like to hit rock bottom.  Or to be a cub fan.  At least until next week, when we’ll most assuredly hit a new rock bottom.  OMG, you guys, the Bears are bottoms!

FUCK THE BEARS!

#YeahYouHeardMeFuckTheBears

© 2014

This entry was posted on Mon, Nov 10, 2014 at 2:54 pm and is filed under g) 2014 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.