It may have taken us 10 games to get our first home win of the year, but after losing 3 straight and 5 of 6 – including giving up 106 points in the last 2 games – the Bears pulled out their first victory in over a month on Sunday. And in doing so, we advance to 4-6, and move back into third place. We might have beaten a shitty team, but we gotta beat the shitty teams to get back to being an average team. And while average is still a long way off for us, today we are not a shitty team. And with our talent, that’s enough. Supa Bow, Supa Bears!
“He Went To” Jared Allen finally got his first win at Soldierz
Things started off like they usually do. Our first penalty came on Minni’s third play, and then we committed penalties on our sixth, eighth and eleventh plays, the latter being an Unsportsmanlike Conduct on Cutler. The Vikings, who hadn’t scored a TD in the first quarter of their last 5 games, ran out to a 10-0 first quarter lead. At that point, we had been out-scored in the first half of our last 4 games 104-7. But then we discovered a hidden secret: we were playing a shitty team. We were up 14-10 by halftime, and we never looked back.

Cutler: “It wasn’t me!”
We did leave quite a few points on the field, turning the ball over twice, and failing to score on a fourth and goal from the Viking 1. But other than that, we were able to move the ball with relative ease all day. And our defense showed up. Now if only Special Teams can get their collective head out of their collective ass, we could actually achieve “slightly better than average” status by Thanksgiving. Then we’d all have something to be thankful for. Everyone of us.

Finally, our “team” showed up
Offense
We gained 468 total yards, got 24 first downs, and went 10 for 17 on third down. Before Cutler’s pick at the end of the half, he was 18 of 23 (78%) for 216 yards, 9.4/att, 2 TD’s and a 134.7 QBR. And despite failing on a QB keeper on a fourth and goal in which he got clobbered (brilliant call, Trest!), he finished 31 of 43 (72%) for 330 yards, 3 TD’s, 2 INT’s and a 98.0 QBR. Not worth $1.1M, but we won, and that’s all that matters.

Trestman called 1 (800) Ass-Kick before this play
Defense
We played shockingly well, keeping the Vikes under 200 yards (if you don’t count the fake punt), getting a turnover (a pick to close it out) and 2 sacks. We also held them to just 11 first downs, and they went only 2 for 11 on third down. Most importantly, we held them to just 13 points, tying our season best. I guess Mel Tucker gets to keep his job another week – but only because we play another shitty team next week.

I don’t know who any of these guys are – none
have played for the Bears over the last month
Special Teams
Both teams missed a FG, but Robbie “My Financial Advisor Suggested That Since I Can No Longer Kick FG’s, I Should Buy” Gould finished his fourth game in a row without kicking a FG. We also gave up a 48-yard run on a fake punt, Minni’s best play of the game. It made up 20% of their total yardage, and led to their only TD one play later. Fucking Special Team’s.

Gould sucks
Outlook
There are only 4 teams ahead of us in the Wild Card race (GB, SEA, SF and DAL). We already beat one of them (SF) and will play another (DAL). I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin. And we host Lovie’s Bucs next Sunday. He’s bound to give us the game on bonehead calls alone. If we can then beat Detroit (sucks!) on Thanksgiving, we’d be back to .500. And headed for a Wild Card on our path to the Supa Bow!

Everyday is Veterans Day at Soldierz Field
Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!
BEAR DOWN!
#SupaBowSupaBEARS
© 2014

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