It was a former Head Coach against his replacement, a former backup QB against the starter, and two losebag teams scratching for that hard-to-come-by win. And in some minor miracle of an event, the Bears won (WTF?!) for the second week in a row. A 2-game winning streak is a lot to celebrate, right? Uhm, no. Let’s remember that we’re still 5-6, we beat a 2-8 team with a new HC and QB, at home, and only by a TD. But considering the alternative – losing to a 2-8 team with a new HC and QB at home – I will take it like a hit of crack if I was Rob Ford at Marion Barry’s funeral! Let’s just not get on our knees and start blowing each other about it, n-k?
Cutler 1, McCown 0
When Culter got hurt last year, and Josh “I Was Recently A Backup High School Football Coach” McCown filled in and didn’t destroy our season, many Bear fans thought he was the second coming of McMahon. On Sunday, he rode back into town wearing another uniform, and he brought with him the last Bears HC to go to a Supa Bow. It was the matchup everyone was waiting to see. We all wanted to know if we made the right choice in the two most critical personnel decisions on any team: your QB and your coach.
Lovie to Trestman: “I know a good real estate agent, so let
me know when you want to put your house on the market.”
Yes, it was strangely also Lovie’s homecoming, and it was looking good for Tampa Bay at halftime when McCown was the only QB to throw a TD. In the first half, we gained only 68 yards, had just 3 first downs, and were shutout. Again. The Bucs, on the other hand, scored 10 points, gained 211 yards and had 11 first downs. It was beginning to look like we had indisputable evidence that both choices Bears management made were wrong.
McCown won the 1st half, and looked good doing it
But our defense woke up at halftime (perhaps after seeing TB play Lovie D for half an hour), and was able to follow the Lovie mantra by getting 3 turnovers in the second half, putting TB’s offense on lock down. And we were somehow able to come back against the worst team in our conference (note sarcasm) by capitalizing on those turnovers, out-scoring Lovie’s defensive unit 21-3 in the second half. But it will all be for naught if we don’t finish this week with another season-saving W.
McCown doing his best Cutler impression in the 2nd half
Offense
Brandon “I Ain’t” Marshall committed a False Start penalty on our first play, and Cutler was sacked 3 times on our second drive before fumbling it away. We 3-and-outed on four of our eight first half drives, gaining only 54 net yards in the air on 20 pass plays. But over the long haul, Cutler did what McCown was able to do in his stead last year – he limited the turnovers at crucial times.
Cutler doing his best Cutler impression in the 1st half
McCown finished 25 of 48 (52%) for 341 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT’s, 1 Fumble and a 64.7 QBR, and Cutler was 17 of 27 (63%) for 130 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT’s, 1 Fumble and an 87.0 QBR. Despite being only 4 for 16 on third down, I’d have to say Cutler/Trestman won this match-up in the end, especially considering neither team could run the ball, and we got the W.
Cutler: “Nah, I’m not gonna try til the second half.”
Defense
We gave up 367 yards to a Lovie/McCown offense. How embarrassing. But we played Lovie defense, coming up with 5 sacks and 4 turnovers, limiting them to 66 rushing yards, and shutting them down in the second half. And for the second game in a row, we only allowed 1 TD and only 13 points. Tucker gets to keep his job another week, but he better not go making any expensive purchases.
McCown was welcomed back to Chicago with open arms
Special Teams
Missing a FG for the second week in a row, Robbie “What Are Those Yellow Poles In The Middle Of The End Zone Called Again?” Gould has kicked as many FG’s as ISIS since October 12. That’s 5 games without putting one through the uprights. He now has just 8 FG’s in 11 games (0.72 FG’s/game), less than half his career average (1.6). At least he wasn’t a factor in this game.
McCown: “What do you think of my $10M contract?”
Cuter: “I think I’ll pay that much in taxes this year.”
Outlook
A 2-game winning streak can mean a lot of things. But after a 3-game losing streak, it can only mean one thing: we’re still a game away from being average. But average is our next step, average is within our grasp, and we’ve got to get back to average before we can reach good because average is still looking down on us. And it can issue an executive order at any time to knock us back to shitty. So the streak only means something if we can capitalize on the momentum. And we’ll know in just a few days.
There will be no homefield, grass or weather advantages this week
We can’t catch GB’s 3-game lead with only five to play, considering they swept us and take the tie-breaker. But we go to Detroit (sucks!) on Thanksgiving. If we lose, our season is unofficially (and officially) over. But if we win, we jump back into the playoff race. We’d only be a game behind the Lions, and we host them Dec. 21 in Chicago. Then it would be a race to catch 8-3 Dallas (whom we host Dec. 4), 7-4 SF (whom we beat), and 7-4 Seattle for the Wild Card. So if there is a game to get up for, Super Fans, it’s this Thursday at 11:30 am. But I’m betting my Ditka jersey we get blown out.
This may be the last time we can say it this season:
Winner, winner, chicken dinner, bitches!
Quotes to Note
FOX “sports” reporter Laura Okmin from the sideline after Cutler was sacked and fumbled (note: Cutler threw 0 INT’s in this game): “Tom after that interception, Jay Culter was over on the sideline, walking up to receivers, offensive lineman, pointing to himself, saying that’s on me – something I talked to him about before the game.”
~ Hey toots, it helps to know what the fuck you are talking about when you are talking to a mass audience.
He’s better than McCown, but is that good enough?
Comcast “sports” reporter Jen Lada, when talking to “He Went To” Jared Allen, who was wearing a denim shirt, black vest and cowboy hat: “Just outside the Bears locker room with Jared Allen, who makes me feel very short and not very fashionable, but we’ll get to that in just a moment.”
~ No really, Jen. Please make the interview more about you. And please, please don’t wait to get to the height/fashion commentary. Lead with that next time!
What a cry baby!
Supa Bow, Supa…Let’s See What Happens Thursday!
BEAR DOWN!
#ComeOnBearsGiveUsSomethingToBeThankfulFor
© 2014
Bear Down Baffa 
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