5-9. Do you remember the last time the Bears were 5-9? I do. It was last year. Trestman sank our ship like any question about anything other than brain surgery has sunk Ben Carson’s poll numbers. Well, a year later, we still suck. We suck so bad that we’re running out of similes and metaphors. There isn’t a single porn or prostitute analogy that captures it – not even a gloryhole scenario. But without getting too graphic, I’ll say this: the 2015 Bears suck like an army of souped up jet engines, but spinning in place and in reverse. And our season is an innocent flock of geese just out for an unassuming morning fly. And on Sunday, the entire flock got sucked into that nuclear-powered vacuum cleaner, and shred into a <POOF> of beaks, bones and blood-soaked feathers. Merry F-ing Christmas! And to be clear, I mean that in the non-denominational way. Like the Bears, and so many others, I too am engaged in a war on Christmas.
Teddy did everything but walk over troubled Bridgewater Sunday
Bear Down Baffa 