Blah, blah, blah. The Bears lost again. It sucks. Everyone is depressed about how bad we are. Thanksgiving was great. I ate a little too much. Bought some black socks on Black Friday. Tried a salad without dressing. Threw an empty water bottle in a regular garbage can instead of recycling it. Cause I don’t give a fuck anymore.
And apparently our fan base doesn’t either
This season is weird. You can’t NOT watch, but when you do, it doesn’t really keep your attention. So you just have the game on in the background. But this one carried some personal baggage. We were facing Robbie “I Now Miss FG’s For NY” Gould, who makes much, much less than we paid him to miss for us. It was his big chance to show us what we were missing. But we already knew what we were missing – FG’s and Extra Points. We just wanted to do that more economically. Well, Gould made his only FG attempt, but he missed 2 of his 3 XPT’s. And Connor “I Think I’m Gonna” Barth continued his “every other” streak, going 1/2 on both FG’s and XPT’s. In the end, the Giants won the game. But by spending less per missed kick, I think we all know who won the battle of the shitty kickers here.
New uniform, same foot
After playing twice in 5 days, the Bears had played just once in 23 days since. With Cutler healthy, we flew into Tampa (3-5) well-rested and riding high on a 1-game win streak. But while these ain’t Lovie’s Buccs anymore, we ain’t Lovie’s Bears anymore either. We’ve become Trestman’s Bears, but with Lovie’s offense, as the Butler played like his 1st season under Lovie. Committing 3 turnovers in the first 16 minutes, including INT’s on consecutive passes, “Hot Potato” Jay gave Chris “I’ve Never Had A Pick-6 Because I’ve Never Played Cutler” Conte his 1st career Pick-6. And Bear fans were left to sit and squirm, like Hillary supporters on election night, as the Buccos snatched back the title of “Lovie’s Best Former Team.” It looks like Trump is already making America shitty again.
Cutler even got burned by “Chernobyl Disaster” Conte
I know the election is still a week away, but Jay Cutler is already making America great again. And he’s starting in Chicago. In his 100th game as a Bear, a Monday night Halloweener, Jay showed up in full costume, dressed up as a starting QB, and quickly reminded everyone what an NFL arm looks like. In a game with 0 turnovers, only 3 penalties, and 2 Culter incompletions that hit Alshon “The Helmet” Jeffery in the helmet (1 in the back, 1 in the front), the Bears rallied around Jay and played a solid 55 minutes. And that was enough to make the Butler 51-49 as a Bear. Or as Trump would call him, the greatest in the world.
Cutler: “Don’t you worry, Chicago, daddy’s got this.”
Bear Down Baffa 