After playing twice in 5 days, the Bears had played just once in 23 days since. With Cutler healthy, we flew into Tampa (3-5) well-rested and riding high on a 1-game win streak. But while these ain’t Lovie’s Buccs anymore, we ain’t Lovie’s Bears anymore either. We’ve become Trestman’s Bears, but with Lovie’s offense, as the Butler played like his 1st season under Lovie. Committing 3 turnovers in the first 16 minutes, including INT’s on consecutive passes, “Hot Potato” Jay gave Chris “I’ve Never Had A Pick-6 Because I’ve Never Played Cutler” Conte his 1st career Pick-6. And Bear fans were left to sit and squirm, like Hillary supporters on election night, as the Buccos snatched back the title of “Lovie’s Best Former Team.” It looks like Trump is already making America shitty again.
Cutler even got burned by “Chernobyl Disaster” Conte
The Low Down
It was awful from start to finish. Pretty much 1 play went our way the whole game, a 50-yard Hail Mary TD at the half. Other than that, it was all TB, all the time. Our 1st-half drives went like this: Punt, Pick, Pick-6, FG, Fumble, Fumble, Punt, TD. Before the TD, Jay was just 8 of 16 (50%) for 74 yards and a 23.4 QBR. Our D did the best they could to limit the scoring, but it was only a matter of time til they’d join the shit show, as Cutler just kept piling it on.
Conte eventually played like Conte, tipping a Hail Mary to us
Our D started falling apart right away in the 2nd half. On Tampa’s 1st drive, they scored their 1st TD not aided by a turnover, and it took only 4 plays. On their 3rd play from their 23, we chased Winston back into the end zone, but he got free and threw a bomb that gained 39 yards. On the next play, he threw a 43-yard TD pass. It was a sign that we’d made no half-time adjustments, and it proved true, as we never scored again, and they continued to run it up from there.
Crab legs, anyone?
Jay only turned it over once more, fumbling out of the end zone for a Tampa Safety in the 3rd, but he didn’t do ANYthing in the 2nd half, going just 1 for 6 on our first 4 drives. Before our final drive, we netted just 2 yards in 28 minutes in the latter period. Our 2nd-half drives went like this: Punt, Punt, Fumble/Safety, Punt, Clock ran out. Even when the Deuce was loose, we scored more often. Wait, how long does a broken arm take to heal again?
“Hot Potato” drops another potato because it’s too hot
Cutler finished 16/30 (53.3%) for 182 yards, 1 TD, and a 55.1 QBR. But if you take out the Hail Mary and our garbage-time drive, he was just 9/22 (40.9%) for 76 yards, with 4 turnovers, 4 sacks and a 12.7 QBR. And he single-handedly put 25% of the Buccs’ points on the board. Other than repeatedly handing the ball to a TB defender in our end zone, this was about as bad as a QB could play.
Jay, adjusting his bra-strap
Doubtlook
Even though we’re only 3 games back with 7 to play (Minni and GB both lost), our staff has shifted back to hoping we lose enough games to position ourselves to bust on another high WR draft pick.
“Kool & The Gang” McPhee (he’s a celebration to last throughout
the year), celebrated this sack even while down 2 scores
Quotes of Note
Fox analyst, whose name I didn’t care to catch, on the Bears: “This is perhaps the most confident 2-6 team that I’ve ever spoken with.” The other analyst: “No doubt.” ~ I’m quite certain neither of them ever spoke to a single Bears players.
“K&TG” celebrated just touching Winston’s foot during this play
(* We were down by 26 at this point)
Fox analyst before the 2nd half: “Get ready for the Bears offense because you know they’re gonna come out aggressive.” ~ Nice call, Nostra-dumb-ass. He must’ve studied under Joe Buck.
The “TB Trump:” 4 guys hold him while 1 grabs ’em by the pussy
Coach Fox, on what he thought at halftime, as he was making no adjustments: “There was still a lot of football left down 17-10 at half-time.” ~ Yes, evidently there was just enough time for you to give up an additional 19 points.
Floyd uses the GEBTF technique: “Grab ‘Em By The Facemask”
Fox: “Our whole team was off today, I don’t know that you can put it on one guy. We just weren’t as consistent as we were a week ago.” ~ Oh, you were consistent alright. And you CAN put it on one guy – when he scores 10 points for you and 9 for the other team!
Jay even screwed up the anthem, kneeling 15 minutes late
Fox, on sucking the big one this week: “I didn’t see it coming, I thought we had a great week of preparation.” ~ Sounds like a quote from Hillary’s campaign.
There’s O’Donnell again – keeping his GEBTP hand clean
BEAR DOWN?
#TrumpAlreadyMakingAmericaShittyAgain
© 2016
Bear Down Baffa 
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