They say defense wins championships. Well it can also win sloppy regular-season games. In our best impression of a Lovie Smith team since we actually were one, the Bears got off the bus running, and didn’t stop for 68 minutes. And we served the full Lovie-style menu, complete with your running, your menacing (and scoring) defense, your QB being a non-factor, more of your running, your almost blowing it, and then for dessert, your barely hanging on to win. And the timing is ironic, as this is our first road win since the last time we faced Lovie (Dec. 2015). In Lovie’s defense, he did have Conte on his team that day.
It took 5 years, but our Lovie-level D is finally back!
The Low Down
With Danny “I Bet You Know My Name This Week” Trevathan returning to call the shots on defense, that side of the ball was dominant. In addition to getting 3 sacks and 3 turnovers, we held their offense to just 9 points. Baltimore’s drives went: punt, punt, punt, fumble, INT, punt, FG, punt, punt, FG, INT, FG, punt – and 6 of their 7 punts were 3-and-outs. Considering we’re down 3 defensive starters, that’s about as good of a defensive performance as you can hope for.
Trevathan is our Mike Singletary, except he’s really good
In addition to Trevethan’s 6 tackles, sack, and fumble recovery, his return inspired those around him. All 3 groups (the line, the backers and the secondary) had multiple players make multiple plays. First, our other ILB, Christian “Mingle.com” Jones, led us with 8 tackles. Then up front, Eddie “When The Market Gets Volatile, I Call My” Goldman had 6 tackles despite facing double-teams all day, and both Akiem “Olajuwon” Hicks and Pernell “My Favorite American Idol Contestant Is Katharine” McPhee had a sack.
Our D was on Flacco like Trump on Twitter –
confusing, nasty, and unrelenting
And in our secondary, Kyle “My Stat Line Has Never Been” Fuller had the left side locked down, despite Joe Flacco repeatedly throwing at whoever Fuller was covering. Additionally, rookie Eddie “Murphy Does A Great Impersonation of Michael” Jackson had 6 tackles, Bryce “I Get My Auto Parts in Sandusky, OH From Big Tom” Callahan returned our first INT of the year 52 yards (which led to a TD), and Adrian “I Rarely Eat Cookies, But When I Do, I Prefer Famous” Amos took our second pick 90 yards to the house. Yes, ALL the way to the house!
To ensure he didn’t stop short of the goal line, Amos pulled
a Forest Gump and ran all the way into the locker room
As for the offense, Trubisky started slowly against their top-5 pass defense, going 2/7 for 29 yards (44.3 QBR) in the first half. But he was 6/9 for 84 yards and a TD (135.6 QBR) the rest of the way, finishing 8/16 for 113 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT’s and 1 fumble (94.0 QBR). Though we did punt 9 times (9…times!), the 94.0 QBR is ocho points better than Ocho’s best Bear game. Truby even bested Flacco, who finished an Ocho-esque 24/41 for 180 yards, 0 TD and 2 INT (48.8 QBR). And all this in just the Troubadour’s 2nd NFL game!
Truby took every chance he got to remind
everyone that this was just his 2nd NFL game
But we didn’t need to rely on “Lt. Pete” Mitchell’s arm much, as we ran 55 times (72%) for 231 yards. Jordan “Moe From The 3 Stooges’s Last Name Is” Howard led us with 36 rushes for 167 yards (a 4.6 avg). And not only did the Trubes tie for our second most yards rushing (32), he did it on just 4 scrambles, compared to Tarik “If Truby’s Gonna Run, Then I’m Gonna Pass” Cohen’s 14 carries. I guess, when you get off the bus running, even your QB has to pitch in.
Nothing like a 53-yard run in OT to bring your average up to 4.6!
Not only did we limit the number of pass plays, we limited the number of Mitchey the Biscuit pass plays. Yes, we ran yet another trick pass play! This time Cohen threw a 21-yard TD to Zach “Morris” Miller. And for the second straight week, Trubisky was the second guy to throw a TD in a game he started. His season QBR (73.3) currently rates him as the Bear’s 4th best QB – behind 2 guys with perfect 158.3 QBR’s (Pat “I Need To Learn How To Punt Out Of Bounds” O’Donnell and Cohen), and Ocho (76.9). And yes, the Bears have had 4 different guys throw a TD pass in our last 3 games.
Cohen is a full foot shorter than Ocho, yet somehow
even he could find someone open in the end zone on 1 try!
What’s even crazier is that the Bears also had 4 players throw TD’s last year: Cameron “I Haven’t Blown A Game This Year Because I’m On IR” Meredith (Jan. 1); Matt “We Apologize For Bringing Him Up” Barkley, who caught Meredith’s pass (but last threw a TD himself on Dec. 24); our former franchise QB (whose last TD was Nov. 20); and Brian “I’m Good For 300 Yards Passing…And A Loss” Hoyer (Oct. 9). That’s 8 players with a TD pass in our last 18 games, which tells me one thing: you don’t need to be very good to throw a TD for Fox’s Bears.
O’Donnell and Cohen have thrown more TD’s in
the last 2 weeks than our opposing QB’s combined
With our running game and defense firing on most cylinders, it only makes sense that Special Teams fell apart. We gave up 2 return TD’s – 1 punt, and 1 kickoff – and no, Seven Hester doesn’t play for the Ravens. In our defense, though, our most tenured player (ST specialist Sherrick “Who’s My Favorite Bear? Jim” McManis) left in the first quarter with a hamstring injury. Connor “I Think I’m Gonna” Barth did make both of his FG’s (including the game-winner in OT), but that only brought his FG% up to 66.7%. Half of me thinks I should continue pointing out that he is an embarrassment to his profession, and the other half of me agrees.
Barth Bag – bringing his own flavor of femininity to the least
masculine position in all of sports (other than soccer, of course).
If he were allowed to wear a cape, I bet he would.
Outlook
Given our lowly situation as of Sunday morning, things are now looking as promising as anyone could’ve hoped. Not only did the Bears (2-4) win, but the Pack (4-2) lost, and A-A-Ron Rodgers broke his clavicle. Even we should be able to catch GB if A-A is out for the year, especially considering our re-match is now a game we can win. The Lions (3-3) also lost, so we made up a game on them as well. We still get to play them twice (in weeks 11 and 15), and now that we have an actual pro QB, that matchup may have just shifted in our favor as well. Plus, Detroit (sucks!) sucks.
Get used to this play – you’re gonna see it 1,000 more times
The big obstacle remaining is Minni (4-2), who happens to be the team that knocked off the Pack. Not only do they have a 2-game lead on us, but they’ve got us in all division tiebreakers: 1. Head to head (they beat us last week); 2. Division record (they’re 2-1, we’re 0-2); 3. Common games (they’re 2-1, we’re 1-2); and 4. Conference record (they’re 4-1, we’re 0-4). It would be hard to pass them in these categories and still wind up tied with them, so the best route would be to just finish ahead of them.
OK, raise your hand if you haven’t stopped
short of the goal line on a missed-FG-return
Since we don’t play the Vikes again until week 17, we have 9 games to make up those 2 W’s. Presuming that doing so would also put us ahead of GB and DET, that would set up a New Year’s Eve re-match with Minni for the division title. Wait, did I say something about winning the division title?! Two weeks ago, people were tuned out, handing in their Bear Down membership cards. It’s amazing how much difference a Biscuit can make.
Hey Trubes, Lionel Richie dedicated a song to you –
because he’s Tru-by…Truby in love with you, girl!
Quotes of Note
* It should be noted that if you took the Comcast post-game show and made a Word Cluster Diagram (a display of the words used in a particular source text, with greater prominence given to the words that appear more frequently), the 2 biggest words would be: pounded and bonehead.
Comcast’s Jim Miller, not quite sold on our squad: “(A) conservative run game, they pounded it…but, man, they definitely make you nervous.” ~ They may make us nervous, but at least the games matter again, Jimbo!
Fox: “Yeah, that’s right. I’ll let anybody throw
the ball. What are you gonna do about it?!”
Comcast’s Lance Briggs, with his usual, over-complimentary evaluation of his former team: “You have these bonehead plays on Special Teams, and then the bonehead play by Jordan Howard.” ~ What Briggs may lack in vocabulary, he makes up for with repetition.
Truby: “Blue, 42. Blue, 42. You’re not really Bearing Down
unless you Bear Down at BearDownBaffa.com. Set, hut!”
Comcast’s Alex Brown, demonstrating an even narrower vocabulary than Briggs: “They probably shouldn’t have won because of the bonehead plays…but they continued to pound the ball late in the game…just pounded…and pounded…just pounded…” ~ He just kept saying it. He put phrases in between, but they were really just supporting the pounding concept.
Fox to Trubes: “Yes, until you’re no longer my
4th rated QB, I’m going to let everybody throw.”
Trubisky, on his approach to running the offense: “One play at a time….just stay consistent. Run the ball, pound it.” ~ Hey, even el Truberino got the memo!
Truby: “A tight end, a safety and a kicker walk into a locker room…”
Miller, after saying that last week was the craziest game he’d ever seen: “That was the craziest game I’ve ever seen.” ~ I’m not sure Miller understands the superlative tense.
A confused Fox stared at the scoreboard for minutes after the game,
unable to figure out how it ended with the Bears having more points
BEAR DOWN!
Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!
Biscuit or bust. You in?
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Bear Down Baffa 
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