The Bears went down to NOLA on Sunday to make a statement to the NFC. Unfortunately, that statement was an unequivocal and synchronous: “We’re not ready yet.” And it was an argument they came prepared to defend. Along with Zach “If You Read This Blog, You Saw This Coming” Miller’s freak knee injury (which literally took points off the board), we bone-headed the crap out of this game by figuratively taking points off the board as well. Trubisky threw a bunch, but his most notable toss – his last – was caught by the Saints. Even our defense came up lame. Sure, the Saints are good. But after lining up next to them, the Bears clearly don’t have a leg (or knee) to stand on in the NFC debate.
Miller’s last play. And his last drop.
The Low Down
From the onset, the FOX announcers pointed out that the Bear’s defense hadn’t given up a TD in 9 quarters. And then, like a Shakespearean tragedy with poignant foreshadowing, the Saints proceeded to score TD’s in both the 1st AND 2nd quarters. Our defense came up with 2 takeaways, but not until it was too late, as our point-costing mistakes came early – and often.
It’s hard to believe a squad led by this guy gave up 20 points
On the Saint’s very first drive, we held them to a FG. But on the attempt, Kyle “WTF Am I Doing?!” Fuller lined up offsides (not jumped offsides – LINED UP offsides, on a FG attempt!), which instead gave the Saints a 1st-and-Goal. They scored a TD on the next play, costing us 4 points. So much for Fuller finally finding his place – that place was, regrettably, in the Saint’s backfield before the ball was snapped.
Fox to Fuller: “Seriously, your BACK foot was almost over the line?!”
On our last drive of the first half, Connor “I Think I’m Gonna” Barth missed yet another FG – his 4th in 10 attempts this year. He’s sitting at just 63.6%, and basically shanking one every other game. Even Robbie “I Still Have A Job?!” Gould is at 89%, and he also missed one on Sunday (of course he did). Now that we don’t have to re-sign Miller, maybe we can afford to go get a legit Kicker.
You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you
can’t pick your nose on the bench after missing 4 FG’s in 6 games
Early in the second half, Miller ended his injury-riddled career with (surprise!) another injury – this one so bad, they had to operate “to save his leg.” What should’ve been his only catch of the day (and Truby’s only TD in 2 weeks) was reviewed, and then ruled a drop (Michael Rapaport “explains”). So we settled for a FG. We got 32 games out of Miller over 4 years (101 catches, 1,161 yards, 11 TD’s) for $6.75M. I think he got the better end of the deal. Unless, of course, he loses his leg. Then I’d say we got a leg up on him.
The injury, which looked like a hyper-extension,
was also reviewed, and then ruled a dislocation
Our lone TD came on our 9th possession, 56 minutes into the game. And it only happened because we somehow stumbled onto a 1st-and-goal at the Saint’s 1. But we missed the 2-point conversion, which would’ve shrunk the lead to a game-low 3 points. It was at least the fourth time we left points on the field (yes, there were others). In all, that total came to at least 13 points – and we only scored 12, and we only lost by 8. Those are numbers even Trump couldn’t spin.
OK, raise your hand if you left points on the field…
Truby Tuesday wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t great either. He finished 14/32 (43.8%) for 164 yards, 0 TD’s, 1 INT, and a career-low 46.9 QBR. In his defense, Miller’s called-back TD cost him about 30 QBR points. And if it had counted, the Troubadour wouldn’t have thrown the late pick because we wouldn’t have been passing. But it didn’t count, and we were forced to pass, and he did throw a pick. So no, he’s not doing enough. But he’s only been doing this for a month, so I’m not declaring him a bust just yet.
Truby, prepping for his spread in the “NFL Draft Busts” Calendar
Doubtlook
MIN (6-2) won again, so the Bears (3-5) are now 3 back at the turn. And since we lost to New Orleans (whom MIN beat), we lost a game in Division Tiebreaker #3 (common games). Plus, we lost a game in DT#4 (conference record) because NO is in the NFC. Since our chances in the tiebreakers are dwindling fast, we’re gonna have to make up all 3 of those wins in the next 7 games – ahead of the finale in Minni. Not bloody likely!
Miller’s backup, Dion “I’m Afraid To Land On My Knee” Sims,
is now afraid to catch the ball for fear of hurting his own knee
As for the good news, DET (3-4) lost (to PIT, whom we beat). GB (4-3) had their bye, so we only lost ½ a game to them. And DET and GB face off next week, so while we and MIN take our bye, one of them has to lose. And then we host GB and DET the following two weeks, which will be critical: we could either be mathematically eliminated, or alone in 2nd place in just 3 weeks. One person who won’t have a say either way? Zach Miller.
Mitchell took a knee in tribute to Miller’s knee –
or at least what used to be Miller’s knee
Quotes of Note
Fox announcers: “The Bears are not built to come from behind.” ~ Fox should know. Ask Bill O’Reilly.
No, why don’t YOU ask who’s dumb and who’s dumber?!
El Truberino, who looked like he just came from a funeral, when asked how surprised he was when they ruled the Miller catch was a drop: “Pretty surprised.” ~ You ask a dumb question, you get a dumb answer.
Truby – looking for Miller’s knee in the endzone after the game
Mitchey the Biscuit, when asked at what point he realized Miller was hurt: “When I went over to him and he was still on the ground.” ~ Who is f-ing asking these f-ing questions?!
After finding Miller’s knee, Trubisky avenged
him by drop-kicking the defender that hurt him
Comcast’s Laurence “Who The Hell Gave ME A Microphone?!” Holmes, with the cliche of cliches: “That’s gonna be a long flight home.” ~ Yeah, for everybody except Miller, who’s probably still in surgery in NOLA.
Speaking of not knowing anything, didn’t Ditka trade his entire
Saint draft for a pothead that only played 3 seasons for him?
Comcast’s Alex Brown, on Miller’s injury: “It’s a horrible play because he got hurt…you never want anybody to get hurt, but if you’re gonna get hurt, catch the TD. But he didn’t. And that’s what makes it suck so bad.” ~ Yeah, he might lose his leg, but the drop is totally what sucked.
Bear’s GM (and resident dandy) Ryan Pace waves to Kevin Spacey
Coach Fox, on Miller: “He’ll be in our thoughts and prayers on the flight home.” ~ Wait, that’s it? Just for the flight home? How will he get better if you don’t continue thinking about him and praying for him, coach?
Coach Fox, talking to his potential replacement after the game
BEAR DOWN?
Hey, we’ve had QB’s that throw off their BACK foot.
Why not one that throws off of NEITHER foot!
#TheBearsAreNotReadyYet
#ThankGodForTheByeWeekBecauseTrubyNeedsThePractice
#MillerNeedsANewKnee
#CoachFoxOnlyPraysOnAirplanes
#NoBearsLeftBehind…ExceptMiller
© 2017
Bear Down Baffa 
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