Bear Down Baffa

Black Friday must’ve been quite prosperous for whoop-ass canneries in Southeastern Pennsylvania.  The big winners were those that bought in bulk because at halftime, they announced a shortage throughout the region, as the Eagles had poured enough on the Bears to rival the BP oil spill.  What would easily have been the worst loss of the year for most franchises was just a typical Sunday afternoon for the Bears, who’ve now lost 25 of their last 32 (.219).  But while I still believe Coach Fox should pull a “Keyser Soze,” I think it’s best to wait 5 more weeks – after all, we want to lose out, and that old bird is on a roll!

With the NFL’s lax celebration rules, Philly made this
game look like an episode of “Dancing With The Stars”

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The Bears are just a week into PFTD mode (Playing For The Draft), and we’re already hitting our stride.  Down 3 with 0:08 left, Connor “Party On Wayne, Party On” Barth went wider right than any kicker before him, securing our 3rd straight loss.  If it had come before our season was put down for the year, this loss would’ve been devastating.  But since we already punched out, it was actually quite tolerable.  We played good enough to maintain interest, but badly enough to enhance our draft position, and Trubisky steered clear of Kevin Spacey.  All things considered, that’s as good as a W to me!

Place-holder Patrick “Why Does He Even Wear The
Special Shoe?” O’Donnell knows before he even looks

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The 2017 Chicago Bears are officially done.  In a must-win, despite being favored over Green Bay for the first time in 9 years, we found yet another way to blow it:  via challenge flag.  What was already the dumbest coaching challenge ever wound up backfiring, taking points off the board, and the ball out of our hands.  It makes you question whether Coach “Captain Bonehead” Fox can be trusted with the remote control, let alone an NFL team.  So I’m calling for him to be “Trumped” immediately, meaning he should be fired, disparaged repeatedly on Twitter, and then investigated for colluding with Russia.

That right there is our season – dying on the goal line

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Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the term, “bearing down”

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