Bear Down Baffa

Well that didn’t take long.  In a matter of 8 days, the Bears went from 1st to worst, and then back to 1st again.  And we did it without the “Captain And” Khalil Mack or our highest paid offensive player, Allen “Swiss Family” Robinson.  Their combined game checks totaled $2.4M, which means we paid $600k for each of their butt cheeks to warm our bench.  But the Bears led for 50 minutes, finished strong, and recaptured 1st place.  So it was money well spent.  And just like the cash the Clinton Foundation gives to protesters, it’s not our money!

Like a Mexican caravan, Truby is unskilled, highly paid, and
he refuses to be stopped before crossing the border to vote

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So much for those 6 TD passes 3 weeks ago.  The Troubador had arguably the worst game of his career Sunday, throwing 24 incompletions – half of which could’ve been picked off, and 2 that were.  Unless you count him as a RB, in which case he was the best player on the field, rushing for more than twice as many yards as anyone on either team (81 yards on 6 carries).  Unfortunately though, he’s paid to throw the ball.  And because we drafted him so high, unless he takes a trip to Istanbul and 15 Saudis with a bone saw kidnap him, he’s going to be our QB for at least 42 more games.  So we can only hope that this was just an off-day for him.

NE couldn’t stop Truby’s legs, but they really shut down his right arm

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Well, shit.  I was just getting used to winning.  But playing only 3 quarters caught up to the Bears again.  We started by scoring 38 fewer points in the 1st half than we did last week, and trailed 7-0 at halftime.  But then things got nucking futs, with a combined 52 points scored in the 2nd half.  The drama was like a good, old-fashioned sex scandal during the Supreme Court nomination process.  If only the Bears had the GOP’s secret weapon, Rachell Mitchell, we might’ve been able to stave off Miami’s attacks.  But just like Kavanaugh’s confirmation, this thing dragged on into extra time, and ended just like we all thought it would – with the home team winning by a small majority at the wire.  Man, losing sucks.  But I still like beer!

The lone difference between the 2 teams – their kicker didn’t miss

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That’s one small step for the Bears, one giant leap for Trubisky.  After all the chatter about our D carrying him, and the Monday Morning QBs saying he sucks, the Troubador finally clapped back.  With a McKayla Maroney face, he flashed double birds, and made everyone “STFU” by throwing SIX TD passes.  And he did it all in the first 34½ minutes.  He was aggressive, defiant, and relentless.  At one point, he even broke down in tears of hatred.  But he was unapologetic as he treated the TB defense like a Senate Committee interviewing him for a Supreme Court seat that he felt entitled to.  And like Brett Kavanaugh’s shot at a vote last week, the Trubes came up 1 shy of the NFL record.  But like Kavanaugh, he’s gonna get another shot in a week.

First Bear QB with 6 TD passes in a game since 1949

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