Bear Down Baffa

You wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t told you it was going to happen.  The Bears just won their 5th straight, and their 3rd in just 12 days.  And this one was without Trubisky.  Boy, I bet Jay Cutler felt pretty shitty on Thursday night.  Not because he was thinking about our Indigenous peoples being robbed of their native land.  No, because he was out-played by a QB with just 1 TD pass in 9 years, and that nobody knows because he’s got 2 first names, and they’re backwards:  Chase “Doesn’t ‘Daniel Chase’ Sound Better?” Daniel.  That should tell you at least one thing about the Bears’ offense – it’s the scheme, not the personnel, that counts.  When asked if this was true, Taquan “The Kwan” Mizzell (another no-namer who scored his 1st career TD on Daniel Chase’s 2nd career TD pass) said:  “For shizzle my mizzell!”

Daniel Chase TRIPLED his career TD passes in 1 game –
which says more about our coach than it does about him.

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Well, the Bears did it.  With the division on the line, and everybody watching in prime time, they got ‘er done.  And with this win, they plant a “For Reals” sign on Roger Goodell’s front lawn after TP’ing his house.  Once again, we had an early, double-digit lead.  Once again, the defense scored.  And once again, Squi was perfect.  Just when you thought he couldn’t possibly be any worse, he goes and does something like this, and totally redeems himself!  It’s really happening, folks.  The Bears are firing on all pistons, the NFC North is looking up at us, and we’re riding a 4-game win-streak like Lance Armstrong’s good nut rode his bicycle seat through the French Alps – sweaty, alone, and nowhere to go but up.  Trump really is Making American Great Again!

Man, I bet those goalposts looked like redwoods out there

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It seems like every week in the NFL you see something you’ve never seen before.  And this week was no different.  The Bears earned their second 3-game win streak this year, and were absolutely dominant in every aspect of the game; that is, except for our kicking game.  We broke new ground there, with Cody “Squi” Parkey not only missing 4 kick attempts, but getting all 4 of them blocked by the goalposts.  If that’s not a record, it should be.  It was so bad, Coach Matt “When My Kicker Hits 4 Uprights, I Get Awfully” Nagy actually benched him – probably to put him out of his misery.  But the Bears padded their first place lead with yet another shellacking nonetheless.  Man, if we ever have our entire roster show up, we’ll be unbeatable.

Squi:  “If those damn poles weren’t in the way, I’d be money!”

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Well the Bears are certainly a different team than we’ve been for the last 5 years.  Winning by over 30 points (49-10) for our 2nd time in 5 weeks, we’re showing we can win on both sides of the ball.  And this one was without the “Captain And” Khalil Mack, which got me thinking.  With him on the field this year, we’re allowing 22.3 points a game.  But without him, it’s just 9.5.  People don’t seem to remember that we were a top-10 defense last year.  Instead of Mack being the best thing to happen to the Bears, it’s starting to look like the Bears are the best thing to happen to Mack.  Either way, if we had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.

It didn’t seem like our D really misses Mack

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