Well, the Bears did it. With the division on the line, and everybody watching in prime time, they got ‘er done. And with this win, they plant a “For Reals” sign on Roger Goodell’s front lawn after TP’ing his house. Once again, we had an early, double-digit lead. Once again, the defense scored. And once again, Squi was perfect. Just when you thought he couldn’t possibly be any worse, he goes and does something like this, and totally redeems himself! It’s really happening, folks. The Bears are firing on all pistons, the NFC North is looking up at us, and we’re riding a 4-game win-streak like Lance Armstrong’s good nut rode his bicycle seat through the French Alps – sweaty, alone, and nowhere to go but up. Trump really is Making American Great Again!
Man, I bet those goalposts looked like redwoods out there
The Low Down
It was another tale of two halves, with the Bears again dominating the 1st, and doing virtually nothing in the 2nd, as they gradually let the lead shrink while trying to play keep-away with the game. But it worked again. On Minnesota’s five 1st half drives, they 3-and-outed 3 times and turned it over twice, netting just 77 yards. The Bears, meanwhile, scored on 3 of our 4 drives, taking a 14-0 lead into the half. It was the complete opposite in the 2nd half, but like Hillary 2 years ago, the Vikings came up short despite being everyone’s favorite to win. But unlike Hillary, they’ll get a second shot at us on Dec. 30. If they show.
Kirk “Kissin” Cousins had a 33.2 QBR at the half
Cody “Squi” Parkey didn’t have to blame Jesus after this game. Though the Bears didn’t even let him try XPTs on our 2 TDs, he was 3 for 3 on FGs – from 33, 41 and 48. He’s now got 78 points, which is on pace for 123 – his 2nd most ever. And while he ruined his chance of setting the Bears’ record, held by Kevin Butler (who set the NFL rookie record with 144 points in 1985), I bet you didn’t know that Butthead’s record was broken in 2014 – by Eagle rookie Cody “He Was Called P.J. Or Tobin Back Then” Parkey’s 150. Oh, the irony.
#1 in your program, #1 in your sharts
I know it sounds like I’m repeating myself, but the defense was once again stellar, coming away with 2 sacks, 3 takeaways, and pitching a shutout through 3 quarters. Akiem “I Saw, I Conquered” Hicks was all over the place, getting his 1st sack in a month. Khalil “Sack” got his 3rd sack since he came back last week, and he forced and recovered a fumble all by himself. Eddie “Olczyk Skated One More Shift” Jackson got a critical pick-6 in the 4th quarter. Prince “Karma Karma Karma Karma” Amukamara led us with 8 tackles. And Adrian “Famous” Amos picked one off. We gave up 17 points in the 4th quarter (yikes!), but we were in a prevent looser than the the border in El Paso. And it wasn’t close enough for a recount.
Jackson did that ball like the Democrats are trying to do
with their request for Trump’s taxes – he took it to the House!
Offensively, we were amazing in the 1st half. Save 1 early pick, we scored every time we touched the ball, and moved it with ease. But we were giraffe-neck-esque in the 2nd half, punting twice, turning it over twice, and kicking a FG from 48 yards. If the defense hadn’t bailed them out, or if Squi had faltered even just a bit, we would’ve lost this one, and it would’ve been pinned on Trubisky. He finished 20/31 (65%) for 165 yards (5.3/att), 1 TD, 2 INTS, and a 61.9 QBR. Though his QBR was an 88 at the half, it was not a great day for him, sleeve and all.
Well, one good thing came out of this game for Truby Tuesday –
he now leads all QBs in rushing yards. Yes, even the black ones.
Outlook
At 7-3, there is no denying the Bears are in the Supa Bow conversation. And the division? Fugedabowdit! The Vikes fall back to 5-4-1, GB dropped to 4-5-1, and DET won, moving to 4-6. That puts us a game and a half up on Minni, 2.5 on the Pack (who beat us), and 3 on the Lions. We’re arguably sitting prettier than any Bear fan (other than members our staff) could’ve envisioned after 10 games. And we’re only going to get better as the Troubador becomes more comfortable in our new scheme. It would be our 1st division title in 8 years. Thanks, Obama.
Sackman coming, I’m the man Sack
We go to Detroit on Thursday, where a win would all but eliminate the Lions. And then we travel to the 3-7 NYG after resting for 10 days. We should absolutely win both of those games. We already have the 3rd best record in the NFC (behind the 9-1 Saints and 10-1 Rams), and if we continue our win-streak to 6 games (as our staff predicted), we might be able to catch the Rams when we go there on the evening of Sun, Dec. 9 (they would have to lose to Detroit in 10 days). Mark your calendars, though. It could be epic.
I guess rowing the boat is how these guys Supa Bow Shuffle
Quotes of Note
NBC’s Matt Zahn, during the pre-game: “One thing the Bears actually haven’t done this year is beat a team with a winning record.” ~ Well, now we have. And this was only the 3rd we’d faced, genius. And we had double-digit leads on all 3. So suck it. F-ing sports analysts, am I right?
Nagy: “Tell Squi I want one of those 2 balls autographed!”
Chris Collinsworth, on Squi: “He’s allowed back in the cafeteria again.” ~ Yeah, but he’s still serving before he eats, and cleaning up afterwards.
Squi’s teammate to Squi: “You hit those uprights again,
and I’m gonna nail you to them like Jesus, ya heard?!”
Lou Canellis, on Hicks: “He’s taking over football games. He had 5 tackles for loss in this game!” ~ And he only had 6 tackles total!
Hicks spent so much time in the Viking’s
backfield, they could’ve charged him rent.
BEAR DOWN!
Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!
#SweatyAloneAndNowhereToGoButUp
#SquiIsOurRideOrDie
#HeWasCalledPJOrTobinBackThen
#3rdBestRecordInTheNFC
© 2018
Bear Down Baffa 
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