Bear Down Baffa

It came a week after our season ended, but the Bears found a way to win for the 2nd time already in November after going winless in October.  But it changes nothing.  We beat a 2-8 team that’s lost 23 of their last 33 games.  We still gave up 14 points to a rookie QB, we only won by 5, and NYG kicker Aldrick “And No Drock” Rosas missed 2 FGs!  So, eh.  Big whoop.  We’re still short a kicker, a TE, an O-Line, and a QB.  So our season’s still over.  This was arguably the least exciting win our blog has covered.  AND it’s about to get unbearably cold in Chicago.  So, it’s just like, whatever, man.  Call me when you find a QB.  Anybody got Kaepernick’s number?

Trubisky ran for one TD and threw for another.
Here he is, showing us how much his hip hurts.

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It’s not rare for the Bears to be eliminated from playoff contention this early in the season.  It’s also not rare for us to have a QB controversy, to fall short of expectations, or for fans to call for both our GM and Head Coach’s heads.  But it’s GOT to be a first to have that happen all at once, while we’re also paying some dickhead $3.5M to NOT kick for us while our ACTUAL kicker is an even bigger dickhead!  What more can God throw at us, Bear Nation?!  Just when we all thought “Squi‘s” “double doink” was as bad as it gets, cut to Eddy “70 Percent” Pineiro’s “double wide.”  70% of the time, he misses every time.

Pineiro:  “In the name of the father, the son,
and the holy shit, I hope I don’t miss this!”

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I have to admit, I didn’t see the Bears winning this week, even considering Detroit sat Matthew Stafford for a backup QB with only 176 NFL passes.  I also didn’t see the Troubador out-playing him.  But both of those things happened on Sunday.  Though neither was by much, they both did happen.  So color me surprised, Mr. 14-2 over here.  We still stink, and we’re headed nowhere fast, but we took a step forward nonetheless.  And at least our team’s “charitable foundation” wasn’t fined $2M this week.  I mean, that would really put a fork in us, wouldn’t it?  Not to mention we’re gonna need every dollar we’ve got for free agency this off-season.   So, all things considered, it’s been a solid week.

Why’d we win?  I’d like to submit this pic as exhibit A, your honor.

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Don’t look now, but the Bears have become good at something:  losing close games.  We’ve lost our last 4 by a total of 23 points, an average of just under 2 FGs.  To some, that’s a reason for optimism.  But Trubisky took another step back, starting with 5 straight 3-and-outs.  This put our D on the field twice as long as our O, which enabled Philly to gain over 200 yards in the 1st half, as our defense committed 6 penalties.  The Eagles scored on their first 3 drives, ran out to a 19-0 lead, and saddled us with our 5th loss.  The Bears are now like Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria – we’ve gone 11 months without power.  And our only hope is if we can get Trump to toss us some paper towels soon.

They beat us when WE had Howard, and then they beat us
when THEY had Howard.  And we had Mack BOTH times!

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