16. Bears Finish Right Where They Started…With As Many Losses As Wins

TGIFFO:  Thank god it’s FINALLY fucking over.  When we look back on this season, it’ll be a blip on the radar, a year where no one will really remember what happened.  Like Seinfeld, it was a show about nothing.  The 2019 Bears didn’t really accomplish anything, right?  You’re .500 when the season starts.  If you wind up .500 when it ends, maybe you didn’t LITERALLY do nothing.  But metaphorically, and mathematically, you DID do nothing.  I mean, us fans all watched the games on TV, and yet we still finished the same number of games over .500 as the Bears.  So, I’m declaring that our blog – and all of our readers – have officially finished in a tie for 3rd place in the NFC North with the Bears at .500.

This is what our players did on Sunday when Viking
fans started chanting, “The Bears have a mangina!”

Sure, the Bears won this game, but they beat Minnesota’s 2nd stringers.  And they barely did that, winning by 2 on a FG with just 0:10 left.  If Eddy “70 Percent” Piniero had missed it (which we all know he would’ve done if the game meant anything), the Bears would’ve finished with a 7-9 record.  So while the Bears may not show up in Google search results for “losers” on the 2019 season, for the 2019 calendar year, they did go 8-9.  So on Google Maps, they do appear just 10 seconds away from Loserville, USA.  And as soon as I post this blog, I’m gonna get HAMMERED drunk to rid my memory banks of the 2019 Bears.  Who’s with me?!

Eddy was delirious after learning his season FG % wound up over 80

© 2020

One Response to “16. Bears Finish Right Where They Started…With As Many Losses As Wins”

  1. MaMa Bear Says:

    AMEN!!! I can wait ’till next year.

    Like

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