It took us 6 tries, spanning some 18 years, but the Bears FINALLY beat Tom “Goat Of Goats” Brady. It certainly seems to have helped that we dealt a 4th-round pick for Nick “Boy, We Really Bargainista’d That Deal” Foles. We targeted him because of his big wins in Philly, including beating Brady in the 2018 SB, and the Bears in the 2019 double-doink playoff game. But this win was still a bit of a surprise. We all knew that Brady could beat the Bears, and that Foles could beat Brady. But now we know that the Bears can beat Brady – as long as we have Foles. Does that make us a good team? No, not necessarily. But because the goal is to win games, if we keep winning, at some point we’ll just “become” a good team. So, even though all rational thought keeps saying that the Bears stink, the actual smell emanating from them right now is a pleasant blend of Old Style, polish sahsage, and a freshly cleaned Lombardi trophy.
It also helped that kicker Cairo “Head Shoulders Knees And
Toes, Knee” Santos went 4 for 4, including this game-winner
The Low Down
The Bears out-scored Tom F-ing Brady. That’s the idea we can’t f-ing lose sight of. We did wind up going just 3/10 on 3rd downs (30%), we allowed 3 sacks, and Foles threw another pick. But we held TB to 4/14 on 3rds (29%), we got 3 sacks of our own, and we got a rare takeaway that led to our 1st TD. Sure, Tampa’s 11 penalties for over 100 yards also helped. But even though we only gained 35 yards on the ground, we had more 1st downs than TB. It was only 1 more (18-17), but still, it’s Tom F-ing Brady! We limited him to 1 TD after he threw 5 just a few days ago. It was also his lowest completion rate of the year (61%) and TB’s fewest points this year by 4. I mean, that sounds like a championship D to me.
Dealing 2 1st-round picks for Khalil “2 Sacks” Mack also helped
(BTW, he’s not “2 Sacks” just because he got 2 sacks this week)
In the end, the 2 QBs performed fairly evenly. Brady finished 25/41 (61%) for 253 yds, 1 TD, 0 INT, 3 Sacks, and an 86.7 QBR, while Foles was 30/42 (71%) for 243 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT, 3 Sacks, and an 83.7 QBR. Foles’s numbers were as unimpressive as last week’s, when he completed 4 fewer passes for 6 more yards on the same number of attempts, while also throwing 1 TD and 1 INT. So this might just be who Foles is, as he threw INTs in both of his 2 big wins mentioned above. But on Thursday night, F-ing Foles came away with 2 offensive TDs and 20 points, which was exactly 1 more TD, and 1 more f-ing point, than Tom F-ing Brady. And I think we can all agree, even if we make it out of this pandemic and life ever returns to normal, Mitch was NEVER gonna do that.
Due to the Covid off-season restrictions, coaches with
new QBs are now allowed on the field during live-play
Taking Down Tom F-ing Brady
Since the Bears destroyed the Pats in SB 20 by a score that sounds WAY closer than the game actually was (46-10), F-ing Brady made it his f-ing mission to enact revenge when he faced the Bears every 4 f-ing years. In ’02, he beat Jim Miller by 3 after putting up 17 in the 4th quarter. In ’06, he beat Rex Grossman by 4 despite throwing 2 picks (Rex threw 3). In ’10, he beat Jay Cutler by 29 in the snow. In ’14, he beat Jay again, but in the sun, and only by 28. And in ’18, he beat Mitch (and Mack!) by 7 despite Mitch having a lead early in the 2nd half. But this year, F-ing Brady no longer reps the F-ing Pats. And for the first time, he had to face a Bear QB with an f-ing SB ring.
“2 Sacks” to F-ing Brady: “You’re lucky my baby bro ain’t here!”
Top Jimmy, He’s the King (shout-out to EVH!)
Jimmy “Likes Elaine” Graham had another solid day, with 3 receptions for 33 yards and a TD, giving Jimmy 4 TDs already this year – just 1 shy of Jimmy’s 2 seasons in GB combined. And though Jimmy dropped ANOTHER pass in the endzone, Jimmy redeemed himself shortly thereafter with another 1-hander for a TD. That puts Jimmy on pace for 13 TDs, which would tie the Bear’s record for receivers, and set it for TEs (ahead of Ditka’s 12 in ’61). However, Jimmy’s slightly off pace for Jimmy’s personal best (16). But Jimmy’s only had Foles for 2 ½ games, and Jimmy’s only been using 1 arm.
Whether a defender is holding it, or Jimmy’s just showing off,
Jimmy always uses just the 1 arm when Jimmy’s in the endzone
Outlook
At 4-1, the Bears are currently a Wild Card team, so the playoffs are ours to lose. But our division is another story. DET (1-3) had their bye, and Min lost a heart-breaker (ha-ha!), dropping them to 1-4. So they’re both already out of it. But GB, who also had their bye, is undefeated at 4-0. And even after we’ve played an extra game, the Pack has still out-scored us by almost 50% (152-105). And though the Bears have now won 5 of our last 6 (.833), GB has won 17 of their last 20 (.850) since hiring coach Matt “Sounds Like A Figure Skater’s Name, Doesn’t It?” LaFleur. And the Pack has taken 7 of the last 8 from us.
Jimmy tells Jimmy’s doubters to suck it. From Jimmy’s endzone.
So while we may have just taken down a giant, and we’re a legit title contender right now, there’s an even bigger (and younger) giant in our own division: Aaron F-ing Rodgers. We still don’t play them for almost 2 months, which seems like an eternity, and then we play them again in the finale 5 weeks later. So a lot can still change. But as it looks today, either we’re gonna need to sweep Mr. Discount Double Check and his new figure-skating coach, or we’ll have to keep our fingers crossed that Trump holds a rally in GB while he’s still contagious.
It’s gonna take more than this dragon slayer to
take down the giant that is Aaron F-ing Rodgers
Quotes of Note
Matt “When I Have A QB Like Foles, I’m Not Quite As” Nagy, on the Bear’s 4-1 start: “We’ve had some things go our way this year where we’ve been resilient with how we’ve come through different situations.” ~ I think coach is confusing the word “resilient” with the word “lucksack” (not to be confused with “2 Sacks”).
Foles to Nagy, who’s behind him: “Coach, can you step back
a bit? You’re kinda crowd…I said you’re kinda crowding me…”
Nagy, quoting himself: “Again, I said it a few weeks ago, there’s something special about this team. We find ways to win, and it’s not always pretty.” ~ Yes, you’re absolutely finding ways to win, coach. But to be clear, we’re not concerned that it’s not “always” pretty; we’re concerned that it’s not EVER pretty. Big difference.
Nagy to Foles: “Don’t tell Mitch, but he definitely gone now.”
BEAR DOWN!
Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!
#OldStylePolishSahsageAndALombardiTrophy
#HeadShouldersKneeSantos
#2SacksMack
#GBLovesTrumpPleaseComeVisitUs
© 2020
Bear Down Baffa 
Tue, Oct 13, 2020 at 2:15 pm |
Are the Bears hiring an f-ing publicist?
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