The 2020 Chicago Bears are a joke. A gif, like that monkey peeing into his own mouth. But despite the hilarity, I’m not laughing. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. If I were to create a new gif to capture how I feel about the Bears, it would be a little boy sleeping under a Christmas tree full of presents next to a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. And then Santa Claus and Jesus sneak in quietly and head for the tree. As Santa holds his empty bag open, Jesus takes all the boy’s presents and puts them into the bag. Then, as Jesus pours the milk over the boys head, waking him up, Santa kicks him square in the nuts, and yells, “Ho Ho Ho!” And as they both trod out laughing hysterically, the boy’s parents come in, high five them and then pose for selfies as the boy sits soaked in milk – and confusion – cupping his balls, crying. And he hasn’t even realized that he won’t get any presents yet. How that boy will feel when he learns of this on Christmas morning – that’s how I feel about the 2020 Bears.
Christ, when is Rodgers going to die already?!
Bear Down Baffa 