I don’t care what you say, the Bears lost to GB on Sunday. Yet somehow we’re all just supposed to accept that they’re still going to the playoffs? Tenured coaches and executives alike are coming forward with clear evidence that the Bears lost, and yet the mainstream media continues to ignore the facts, which are countless, detailed and indisputable. And unless the AZ Cardinals can somehow convince the NFL to overturn the results, the Bears are going to steal the last NFC playoff spot from them. Cards Owner Michael Bidwill isn’t having it, announcing that he’s suing the Bears and NFL Commish Roger Goodell. He’s even suing the states of MI, PA and GA for some reason. Only time will tell if his “bid will” work, as he calls on fans to rise up and stop the steal (#StopTheBearsSteal). But as of now, and until further notice, the f-ing Bears are in the f-ing playoffs, you f-ing guys!
Even Bear players are calling it fraud. Or they’ve
taken to singing opera when calling their signals.
The Low Down
It was your typical Bear-Packer game with a few subtle differences. The Bears scored on our opening drive, and Q1 ended with the Bears leading 7-0. But GB scored 3 TDs in Q2 alone, essentially ending this game at the half. We never reached the endzone again, settling for 3 FGs the rest of the way, and turning the ball over twice. Meanwhile, GB’s offense finished with 5 TDs and 0 turnovers (they did fumble, but it was on a punt return). You could’ve watched a VHS tape of almost any game from this rivalry over the past 30 years and you probably couldn’t tell it apart from this one. And like the year 2020, I’m just so f-ing over it.
Refs allowed the Bears to start each play with a guy hanging
onto Rodgers in the backfield, yet we still couldn’t stop him!
Best Bears Kicker Of All Time
Nobody thought Cairo “Head Shoulders Knees And Toes, Knee” Santos would be the solution to our kicking issues. But after years of chokes, doinks and blatant incompetence, not only did we fix the problem, but “Knee” Santos had the greatest year a Bears kicker has ever had! After finishing 30 for 32 (93.8%), he set franchise records for consecutive FGs (27) and highest FG%. And in addition to going 36/37 on PATs (97.3%), he was perfect from inside 40 (19/19). His only misses came from 46 (week 3 vs ATL), and from 50 (week 2 vs NYG), but we won both of those games. The problem is that he was SO good, he’s going to command Robbie Gould money, which the Bears may not pay. So be ready for more Eddy “80 Percent” Pineiro next year.
Is it just me, or is “Knee” Santos getting even smaller?
It’s like I pasted him and his holder in from another pic.
Outlook
Due to Covid, the NFL expanded the playoffs from 6 to 7 teams in each conference with a 3rd Wild Card. This is designed to off-set any complications an on-the-bubble team might’ve had to deal with related to the pandemic. In essence, it’s a Socialistic ploy to capitalize on the situation and reward mediocrity with a handout. In the AFC, it went to a formidable team in the Colts, who finished 11-5, and actually beat GB. On the flipside, the Dolphins were locked out despite finishing 10-6. But in the NFC, that extra welfare spot is being gifted to the Bears – despite us finishing just 8-8, and tying AZ. It’s a brutal example of the dangers of governmental overreach.
Also due to Covid: players are now only allowed to
use their left hand when engaging with other players
Having said that, the Bears are headed to the post season, you guys! Holy Jesus, Lord have mercy! The Bears are going to the PLAYOFFS?! Despite the 6-game losing streak. Despite Pace’s continued draft busts and free agent misses. Despite Nagy losing as many games as he’s won over the past 2 years. Despite the collapse of our defense. Basically, despite the Bears sucking. But the rules are the rules, and apparently those rules say that crappy teams are currently under-represented in the post season. So, barring some kind of unprecedented legal action, an Executive Order, or a Supreme Court ruling, it looks like the Bears will advance. And so we’ll take on the Saints in New Orleans on Sunday!
Unfortunately, this will be our starting QB in that game
Nobody thinks we can beat the Saints. Except for me. They needed OT to beat us by 3 back on Nov. 1, and that was after we had fallen apart. Our o-line was still heavily unresolved, “1 Pick” Nick was our QB, and Bill “The Blazor” Lazor wasn’t calling plays yet. All of those things have dramastically changed since that matchup. And the Saint’s best player, Alvin Kumara, might be out after testing positive for Covid on Jan. 1. Granted, it’s on the road, our D stinks, and our O doesn’t smell much better. But I think we’re lucky to get NO, especially considering the alternative would’ve been either SEA or GB again. Although, if we do win, no matter what else happens, we’d have to go to GB the week after.
Maybe 2020 hasn’t been ALL bad after all – the Bears made
the playoffs, and Akiem can now buy his weed legally in IL!
Quotes of Note
Fox announcer Kevin Burkhardt, mid-Q2: “The Packers have run 21 plays, and they have 21 points.” ~ Welp, that sounds like the typical Bear-Packer game to me, folks!
Note the eye contact. The Bear is locked in on the coin,
while the Packer isn’t looking. That’s because it doesn’t
matter – the Packer knows they’re gonna win either way.
Fox announcer Daryl Johnston, right after Mitch’s INT: “That’s just not a good decision by Mitchell Trubisky to try and fit that one in.” ~ Boy, they’re really struggling to come up with different ways of saying Mitch sucks. How about that wasn’t a good decision to make that comment, Daryl?
I still don’t know why anyone listens to the “experts” –
even THEY don’t even know WTF they’re talking about
Comcast’s Olin Kreutz, on our O finally being decent but our D now stinking: “This (Bears) offense that everybody wanted is (designed to go with) a top 3 defense…a defense that is Supa Bow ready. But this (Bear’s) defense doesn’t look like that anymore.” ~ No, they don’t. In fact, they’re performing about as well as Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye.
Now that Nagy’s taken his talents from our O to our D, our D sucks
Kreutz, on our chances against the Saints: “The Bears took them to overtime in the last one…So the Bears already know they can play with them.” ~ See? Olin agrees with me.
NTTAWWT, but uhm, doesn’t it look like these 2 sailors
have something going on beyond just a football game?
BEAR DOWN!
Supa Bow, Supa Bears! Right?! We’re in the SB tourney, you guys!
#StopTheBearsSteal
#SupaBowSupaBears!
© 2021
Bear Down Baffa 
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