Bear Down Baffa

I never thought I’d site Justin Timberlake in print, but to steal from the dreamy Back Streeter, the Bears are bringing Sexy back.  Yep, just when you thought it was safe, Sexy Rexy has to get his uniform cleaned for the first time this year after leading the Bears to a come-from-behind victory against the division rival Lions on Sunday.  That gives us 7 wins in our last 10 games, 4 in our last 5, and it puts us alone in first place.  Sure the defense had the Li-downs on lock down in the second half, but we were down by 10 when Rexy punched in, and up by 4 when he toweled off.  So I say the kid deserves a happy ending to his post-game massage – or at least a free steak at Ditka’s! 

Rex the miracle worker was only on the field because the mighty Captain Orton was hurt while trying to put his head up his own ass at the end of the first half.  If you axe me, his inability to move like a man led to this almost self-inflicted injury.  But having a former starting QB with Supa Bow experience can be helpful in these situations, and the Sexonator made the most of his opportunity.  In his first two drives, he went 6 for 10 for 48 yards with a TD pass.  Despite not doing much more in the air, and even hearing boo’s from the home crowd, he showed resilience and led another scoring drive, carrying it in himself and finishing it off with a thunderous spike.  It was quite different from Orton’s rushing TD, when he walked in untouched, carrying the ball like a soiled diaper.  But this has to be the first time two Bear QB’s scored a rushing TD in the same game.  Not only did I never think it would happen, the idea never even occurred to me.  I mean, how often does a QB run one in, much less a Bear QB?  Case in point, it was Orton’s first in 26 career games, and only Sexy’s second in 32.  Save your ticket stubs folks, they may be worth millions some day!

The worst news on the injury front came when we lost a solider in Mike Brown.  And wouldn’t you know it, it comes after he got his first INT of the year on the fourth play of the game, which he returned for a 50-yd TD that was brought back (he was ruled down by contact).  But it just shows you the kind of play-maker he can be.  We’re optimistic it’s not season-ending, but let’s also be honest, we didn’t expect him to last this long.  One ray of hope comes as his replacement, rookie Craig Steltz, had a big INT in the fourth quarter.  Another great sign was Matt Forte rushing 22 times for 126 yards, most in the second half.

Reportin & Retortin on Orton/ Checks & Specs of Rex Effect
For the first time in their careers, we have a head-to-head look at both QB’s on the same day, with the same weather, against the same team, and exactly equal playing time.  How weird is it that Orton goes down right at the end of the first half, and each gets to play a complete half in the same game?  Let’s break them down by the numbers:
Orton: 8-14 (57.1%) for 108 yds, 7.7 y/att 0 TD, 0 INT, 81.8 QBR
Sexy:  9-19 (47.4%) for  58 yds, 3.1 y/att 1 TD, 1 INT, 49.9 QBR

The statistical edge goes to Orton, but when you look at the score (in the first half we lost 23-13, in the second we won 14-0), you’d have to let the Grandiose Grossman ride shotgun on the team bus.  So even though it was a great time to compare them, it’s still hard to say who gets to wear the blue ribbon.  Clearly, Rex will play while Orton recoups.  But maybe we’ll know more next week when we go from playing an 0-8 team to an 8-0 team.  So Lovie gets to stay – at least another week.

I’m Not Sure What to Make of Rex
I’m not sure what to make of Rex,
He’s neither square nor convex,
But where do he and the game intersect?
I mean, I know what the fans expect,
The booing by which he’s perplexed,
Benching to which I’m sure he objects,
But when he got the call, all arms on deck,
He stepped up, and came correct.
The offense he runs, so complex,
The defense that he must dissect,
The blitzing he certainly expects,
The scheme and alignment that he checks,
The play-calling bark that he projects,
Then the snap that Kreutz ejects.
The options on which he reflects,
And the choices that he must reject,
The muscle he could be forced to flex,
The possibilities endless, as are the effects.
And he took this game back, breaking the hex,
Removed a noose from around his neck.
And so I must give him my respects,
He fixed a relationship that he wrecked,
And with the fans he’ll reconnect,
Now with a smile, as he reflects,
Rexy reeks of make-up sex.

Super Bowl, Super Sexy!

© 2008

This entry was posted on Mon, Nov 3, 2008 at 10:19 pm and is filed under m) 2008 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.