Bear Down Baffa

The Purple People Eaters got an extra Thanksgiving meal on Sunday night, devouring the Bears like they hadn’t found a purple person to eat in weeks due to the melting polar caps.  And the Bears are now in danger of becoming extinct.  Once again, on a national stage, the Bears froze at the podium like Eminem in the beginning of 8 Mile.  And you can bet mom’s spaghetti that the clock left on their season has run out – time’s up, over, BLAOW! 

Snap back to reality, the Bears certainly didn’t help their cause in the Roller Dome Sunday.  We started strong, scoring first.  But after a Minni penalty gave us a first down, Forte broke a 20-yarder down to the one.  We were first and goal, about to go up 14-3.  But then we somehow managed to not only fail to score, but we let the Vikings throw a 99-yard TD pass to Bernard Berrian on their first play.  Our staff voted, and we believe the Bears season went into cardiac arrest at that very moment.

Doubtlook
As we have stated, the Bears are not a good team.  I repeat, the Bears are not a good team.  At 6-6 with our schedule, you cannot expect to make the playoffs.  We managed to start 3-3 before our first 3-game homestand and 3-game road trip.  We went 2-1 at home, then 1-2 on the road, so we’re back to .500.  The good news is that we have three in a row at home, where we’re 3-2.  To quote us after week 6: “At least it won’t be so bad if we come home for our second 3-game homestand at 6-6.”  Well, it may not be that bad, but it certainly isn’t good.  And what little hope remains is fading like Sarah Nailin’ Palin’s star.

Division Ranks
Our record isn’t even our biggest problem here.  With Green Bay losing again, they’re pretty much done at 5-7.  And we’re only a game behind the Vikings with four to play.  That’s not an impossible situation.  But even if they lose four straight, we may not be able to catch them because I don’t know if winning is something this team can do anymore.  I mean, do you see it in them?  ‘Cause I don’t.  Unless of course the opponent is Detroit.  But hey, there’s always the Wild Card.

Wild Card, Schmild Card
We would need to win out (I just LOL’d), and that might not even be enough.  The two best non-division leaders, Dallas and Atlanta, are 8-4.  And in the South, both Carolina and Tampa Bay are 9-3.  Then you got Washington at 7-5, Philly’s tie (6-5-1) puts them ahead of us even though we beat them, and we’re tied with New Orleans, who we play a week from Thursday.  That’s seven teams fighting for two spots.  We could technically be eliminated with either one more loss, or if two of those teams wins twice.  And that will most certainly happen.

So it’s back to winning the division.  Let’s assume we can win again, all we have to do is catch the Vikes.  And if they lose their front two lunch pail defensive tackles to drug suspensions, that may not be that far fetched.  Man, if only we were good it would be so easy.

© 2008

This entry was posted on Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 11:32 pm and is filed under m) 2008 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.