Bear Down Baffa

We finally have our answer: the ’08 Chicago Bears suck.  Despite having an enormity of talent, and the lead in 6 of their 7 losses, they just couldn’t win enough games to be considered good.  And with their season on the line today, after winning 3 in a row to stay alive, they refused to play with the pride of a winner, much like what the Cubs do.  And the Bears found the same losebag result.  Maybe it’s the fans that unconditionally support them even when they lose.  Maybe it’s the coaching, or the front office.  Maybe there are too many players who got guaranteed money.  Maybe our players just aren’t as good as they once were – maybe we’re just getting passed up in the ever accelerating NFL race.  Whatever it is, if football ability were measured in dollars, the Bears would be as broke as a homeless man who just got robbed. 

The Bears were favored by 3.5 pts on Sunday, and they had the prayers and good tidings of millions of Super Fans around the globe (not to mention other solar systems).  Our blog did our part; we sent the team a certified letter on our blog stationary that read, “There’s only one way we want you to come back to Chicago alive” and signed it, Super Fan Nation – 437th Division, 7619th Battalion.  You did your part too, I’m sure, wearing your jerseys, watching the game and screaming at your TV’s.  But they failed us, like the lighting in a downtown bar at 3:00 am, a financial advisor who ponzied away your life savings, or an elected official who tried to trade a Senate seat for Cubs season tickets.

The Bears did not play like a team that wanted to win, or like a team that was a win away from the post season.  After running out to an early 10 -0 lead, Houston came right back and went up 14-10.  And the Bears spent the rest of the game chasing the only team on the field that had nothing to play for, like a hamster in a wheel, getting nowhere and accomplishing nothing.  We eventually lost a not-as-close-as-the-score-indicates 31-24.  But there seemed to be no sense of urgency.  And I’m embarrassed to do this because it’s so easy to do, but I have to call out the players, especially the leaders, and I have to question the heart of every player who suited up.  Dudes, what the fuck happened!?

Sure, the Viking won, so we wouldn’t have won the division anyway.  But everybody else did their jobs.  Oakland beat Tampa, despite being 12.5 pt dogs (yes, 4-11 Oakland beat a team on the road that the Bears couldn’t beat at home), and Philly destroyed Dallas.  All we had to do was win, but no-oh!  So Philly – the team that we beat, that needed both the Bears and Tampa to lose, and had to beat Dallas – gets the Wild Card at 9-6-1.

Airing of Grievances
Of course we won’t be able to do any Feats of Strength, but we’ve decided to enact one phase of Festivus (for the rest of us), the Airing of Grievances.  As Frank Costanza points out, “You gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.”  My only problem is I have far too many to include in this post.  But here’s where they start:

1. Why can’t we have a decent QB?  We don’t need a Tom Brady, but he has to be better than the Beard.  Other teams seem to find them.  All we need is an Orton plus mobility and a long ball.  Or a Good Rex.
2. Orton isn’t the only problem, why can’t we acquire a #1 receiver?  No, Hester isn’t that yet.  He’d be the best #2 in the NFL, though, if we had a #1.
3. Defensive Coordinator.  This thing is only half broke, but it needs to be fixed.  We are not making the adjustments at half time, shown in our D playing worse as the game goes on and losing leads, as opposed to the way we used to get better later in games.
4. Offensive Coordinator.  If the offense sucks and you’re not going to make personnel changes, you need to have someone who knows his players better.  We’re doing the same things every game, yet we only have one or two good drives.  Whether it’s scheming or play calling, we need someone who can get more out of his players.  What, are there no other qualified candidates on the planet than Ron Turner?
5. Lovie.  I’m not calling for his head, but the question needs to be asked: is Lovie Smith our best shot at another Supa Bow?  Sure he got us there, but he lost (with a lead late, I might add).  And what has he done since, other than barely win a dozen games when he’s had more talent than the opposition, and lost a dozen games he should have won?  It’s like in American History X when Sweeney asks Derek, “Has anything you’ve done made your life better?” Well, Lovie, has it?

Reportin and Retortin on Orton
Orton’s started off 5 for 5 for 48 yards and a TD on our opening drive, and finished 22 for 37 (59.5%) for 244 yds, 6.6 yds/ attempt and a QBR of 97.  Some might be impressed by that, but he was out-played by Matt Schaub, who was 27 of 36 (75%) for 328 yds, 9.1 yds/ attempt and a 121 QBR.  It might not seem like much difference, with both having 2 TD’s and no INT’s.  But imagine if Orton had gotten 2.7 more yds on every pass play (not just completions), or completed 5 more passes for 84 yds when his team needed them.  That’s the difference between us finishing 9-7 and 13-3.  Orton falls to 21-13 (62%) as a starter, which is still decent.  But he’s now 6-10 (37.5%) on the road, and that includes 2 wins in Detroit.

If anything, this season revealed to us what we wanted to know about Kyle Orton.  Back when he won 8 in a row as a rookie in ‘05, some of us thought he should have been given a shot at the #1 spot full time.  But like the rest of us, those people had to wait until ’08 to see what the Ortonian era would bring.  And now that we’ve all seen a full season of it, I think we should look elsewhere for a QB.  I don’t want to face ’09 with Kyle and his beard as the hood ornament on the Bears offense.  Dude, seriously.

Thanks for Reading
If you’re like me, you’re stupid for thinking the Bears would come back after almost flubbing their season away, instead of continuing to flub their season away like they did.  But some consolation can be found; even though we teased ourselves with the idea that they could get in, none of us realistically thought they would do anything in the post season anyway.  I mean, they can’t win on the road, and they certainly weren’t going to host a game.  So either way, it would have ended next week.  But it would have been nice to play in January.  And man, to go out like this, it makes our blog look bad.  Fucking Bears…thanks for reading this season!

© 2008

This entry was posted on Sun, Dec 28, 2008 at 10:48 pm and is filed under m) 2008 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.