Bear Down Baffa

The Ravens kept their playoff hopes alive with a win, and the Bears proved once again – but in particularly convincing fashion – that they suck.  Fa la la la la, la la la fricking la. 

The Worst Defense is a Bad Offense
The Bears made quick work of it, falling behind 7-0 after an INT 3 minutes in, and 14-0 after another INT just 12 minutes in.  Then they failed to score on 3 plays from the 1, and only scored on Special Teams, returning a BAL punt on a short field.  Then BAL scored 17 pts on their first 3 second half drives, going up 24 only 7 minutes in and after only 5 Bears offensive plays.

Give it Away, Give it Away, Give it Away, Give it Away Now
Even though we were blown out 31-7, we punted twice more than BAL (7-5) because we gave the ball away like a waitress handing out drinks at a happy hour (2 fumbles, 4 picks) – and where the only thing happy about the hour is that it’s one hour closer to the season being over.

The Cutler Calamity
The Butler looked like he was throwing with his eyes closed.  His QBR was a Bob Avelini-esque 7.9, as he went 10 for 27 (37%) for 94 yds with 0 TD’s and 3 INT’s.  If this guy was my girlfriend, I’d have already dumped her and posted compromising photos of her on the Internet with a banner reading, “I’m a Slut and I Caught VD.”  He was so bad, that Lovie pulled him and let Caleb Hanie throw an INT.

Positives
Our rushing stats were almost identical to BAL, the best running team on the field.  Also, we only had 1 penalty all game.  Both are obviously meaningless, but astonishing nonetheless.

© 2009

This entry was posted on Sun, Dec 20, 2009 at 11:02 pm and is filed under l) 2009 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.