Bear Down Baffa

So much for the Bears being 8 point dogs.  We flipped the script and gave Philly the business like a Penn State football coach on a teenager’s ass in the shower.  And after beating them in the regular season for the fourth time in the last five years, we’re dominating this series like a Texas Governor on a death row inmate.  Philly tried to beef up this off season by adding 6 former Pro Bowlers, even declaring themselves the “dream team” during training camp.  But after we groped Vick like Herman Cain playing Marco Polo with one eye open in a hot tub filled to capacity with hot women, the only thing they’re dreaming about is being as awesome as the 5-3 Bears.

Bears stalk the Eagles like Penn State coaches stalk little boys

With both teams in third place (after winning their divisions last year) and each coming off a 2-game winning streak, this game was crucial in their respective fights for air in the playoff picture.  If Philly had won, we’d be lost in the Wild Card shuffle with five other teams.  But a victory gives us the lead in the race for the second Wild Card spot, and brings us within a game of the first.  We’ve now won 3 in a row by an average of 7 points while giving up an average of only 17.  And we’ve won 4 out of 5 since that challenging first three weeks of our schedule, as Lovie advanced to 7-2 on Monday nights.

Is it me or do our “Tight End” celebrations seem a little too gay?

Forte’s Fumble-Palooza
After Jon Gruden commented early in the game that Forte “never fumbles,” Forte fumbled.  Twice.  The first time was his first fumble in 347 touches – and was returned for a TD.  The second was only 5 touches later and led to a Philly TD two plays after that.

Forte shows management he too can play hard ball in negotiations – by fumbling at will

Redemption Song
Several Bear players made up for boneheaded plays with solid ones.  Despite his two fumbles, Forte had 150 total yards, including 4 runs of 14 or more yards.  Earl Bennett got called for Pass Interference on a third down, but then caught a 26-yarder on the next play (a third and 16) that led to our first FG.  Roy “First Down” Williams dropped 2 passes, but went on to catch 3 – all for “first downs.”  And Major Wright, who four plays earlier had a 17-yard Pass Interference call on third down, picked off Vick on a first down in the red zone and returned it to mid-field.

Major Wright was a major pain in Vick’s “black arse”

Wild Finish to First Half
We were up 10-0 when Philly kicked a FG with 2:04 left in the half.  We had 80 yards to go and 3 timeouts left to run our two-minute drill.  But after two incompletions, Forte caught a pass and laid it on the ground for Philly to return 22 yards for a TD.  This gave the Eagles 10 points in under 30 seconds and allowed them to tie it up.

Nnamdi “My Name Starts with 2 N’s” Asomugha directs Brian Rolle to the Bears end zone

After they kicked off, we got another crack from our 15 with a minute and a half (and those 3 timeouts) remaining.  Philly committed 2 penalties in a row and we false started before the drive even began.  We then went 3-and-out and had to punt from our 30 with a minute left, giving Philly a chance to score for a third time in 2 minutes.  But DeSean Jackson (their Hester) fumbled the punt and we recovered at their 11, giving us a 79-yard gain – our biggest play of the game.

Bowman and Graham “beat it” out of Jackson’s hands

And after failing to put it in the end zone on three plays, Philly committed a third down Roughing the Butler penalty, giving us a new set of downs at the 3.  And Marion “I Don’t Have A” Barber, who tied his Bears best 39 total yards, pounded it in on the next play, putting us back on top 17-10 at the half.

Marion “The Barbarian” Barber leads all Bears with 4 TD’s

Offense
We scored a TD on our first possession for only the second time this year, a 12-play, 79-yard drive – 52 of which came from Forte who finished with 133 on 24 carries (a 5.5 average).  And that’s after Philly allowed  only 127 rushing yards over their last two games combined.  We also had four scoring drives over 50 yards.  It appears Martz is finally coordinating with his head outside of his ass, as we ran (34) more than we passed (32), averaging 5.6 yards a play for a total of 372 net yards – just 22 shy of our season high against Tampa two weeks ago.

Forte on one of the few plays he didn’t fumble

Our O-line was once again stellar, allowing no sacks for only the second time in Cutler’s 41 Bear games.  They’ve allowed only 3 in the last 3 games after allowing an average of 2.5 over his previous 38.  The Butler’s numbers were a mediocre 18/32 (56.3%) for 208 yards, but at least 5 passes were dropped (big surprise) and he threw 2 TD’s with no picks for a QBR of 96.9.  It was only his 9th Bears game with multiple TD passes and no picks.  He also threw for 9 first downs, 6 of which came on third downs.  And his favorite receiver Earl Bennett made a big splash after missing the last 5 games, catching 5 passes for 95 yards and a TD.

Bennett not only stays in bounds, but also eyes the camera for an eerily intimate photo

Defense
We kept Vick in check by slowing him down.  He finished 21/38 (55.3%) for 213 yards, 0 TD’s, an INT, a sack, only 34 yards rushing and a 60.5 QBR.  He’s now 0-4 against the Bears with a 58% completion rate, 3 TD’s, 4 INT’s and a 72.5 QBR – almost 10 points below his career average.  And if you take away the 2 TD’s that came off Forte fumbles in Bear territory (their only starts there), Philly only had one good drive (a 15-play, 80-yard TD drive to open the second half) and one TD the whole game.

Vick was under pressure all game – even from the refs

We also held phenom LeSean McCoy (who Jim Miller says is so fast “he lives in the future”) to 71 yards rushing – his second fewest this season.  And this was after he ran for 311 yards over the last two games and has gone over 100 yards more times than he hasn’t this year.  In total we allowed 330 yards, well below Philly’s 450 per game average coming in.  Additionally, Peppers left hurt but returned and recorded his 5th sack.  And despite Briggs being all over the place, Urlacher led us with 11 tackles.

Urlacher bearing down on the elusive McCoy

Special Teams
Robbie “I’m So Close I Can Taste Being the Most Accurate Kicker in NFL History” Gould kicked 3 FG’s, including his second 51-yarder this year, tying the fourth longest (54) of his 101-game career.  Seven Hester was relatively quiet with 49 yards on 4 returns, and field position was negligible.  But the big fumble recovery on the punt at the end of the half was our biggest play of the game.

Gould got his kicks in

On the Docket
We host the Lions (6-2) next Sunday at 3:15 pm.  They are coming off their bye week and a 1-2 record since beating us a month ago in Detroit on Monday night.  This is a HUGE game for both teams.  A Bear loss would virtually knock us out of the running for the first Wild Card, as we’d be trailing them by 2 with 7 to play, and they’d have the head-to-head tie-breaker.  But a victory would not only douse the flame that was Detroit’s early season run, it would put us in a tie and nullify their tie-breaker advantage.  And they have yet to face GB this season.

Philly fans were literally turning green with envy

A win would also be our fourth in a row, and could lead to a 9-game winning streak as our upcoming schedule is weak as shit.  We’re currently favored by a point, but I think this will be a statement victory for us.  Detroit better not forget one thing:  a good supply of body bags.

Apparently racism has yet to be overcome by NFL referees

Back in the saddle again.  Super Bowl, Super Bears!

© 2011

This entry was posted on Tue, Nov 8, 2011 at 6:22 pm and is filed under j) 2011 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.