Most people will tell you that week 1 is the most important week of any football season. That is – until week 2. But after losing 5 straight without a real QB last year, and getting beat 4 times by Green Bay in calendar year 2011, we’re now 2-0 in 2012. Granted, those 2 wins came against QB’s with 2 combined NFL wins between them (Ponder and Luck). But hey, that’s a TP not an OP (Their Problem, not Ours).
Bears kick off 2012-13 Super Bowl run – and it’s going to take more than “luck” to stop them
It Was the Worst of Times, It Was the Best of Times
With all the hoopla surrounding our off-season maneuvers, and with expectations so high for our offense, the “new” Bears lived up to the hype on Sunday – and then some. But it didn’t start off pretty. In fact, it was almost the worst start an offense can have. Tice said he “scripted” the first ten offensive plays, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t go anywhere near the way he wanted, as it was more like the script from “Bambi.”
The Bears offense started out much like last year – bewildered and looking for answers
Our first ten plays went like this: 1) Sack. 2) False Start. 3) 3-yard run. 4) Incompletion. 5) Punt. 6) Pick-6. 7) Rush for no gain. 8) Incompletion. 9) 13-yard completion. 10) Incompletion. Jay “The QB, Not the Bodybuilder” Cutler was only 1 for his first 10, and he didn’t even have a QBR until almost the end of the first quarter (2 for 11, 20 yards, 1.7 QBR).
Indy celebrates Jerrell Freeman’s pick-6 just 3½ minutes into the game
But the Butler made like the guy who cleans up after elephants at the circus and “got his shit together,” eventually exceeding even the most fervent of fans’ hopes. He went 20 for his last 25 (80%) for 320 yards (12.8 y/att), finishing 21-35, 333 yards, 9.5 y/att, 2 TD’s, 1 INT and a 98.9 QBR. Not bad for a homie who hadn’t thrown a regular season pass in almost 10 months, and who has 2 new WR’s.
To give defenses a chance, Cutler now points to where he’s going to throw before each play
Cutler’s 333 yards were the most he’s thrown in almost two years, and his third most as a Bear – and almost all of this was in the last three quarters. Five different receivers had catches of 24 yards or more. And Brandon “Don’t Call Me Wilbur” Marshall had 9 catches for 119 yards and a TD, putting him on pace for 144 receptions, 1,904 yards and 16 TD’s – all of which would shatter Bears records.
Marshall had time to tell this defender to “Talk to the hand”
But the biggest play of the game came late, and it was glorious (said like Will Ferrell in Old School). The Butler hit Alshon “Take Me Away” Jeffery on a perfectly thrown 42-yard bomb. And it wasn’t a 7-yard pass with a 35-yard run. Jeffery caught it in the back of the end zone, over his shoulder, in stride, and Cutler threw it from Bear territory. So the ball actually traveled over 60 yards in the air.
Jeffery beats 2 defenders for his first NFL TD
The running game was probably about what we expected. Matt “Only One or Two Good Runs a Game is My New” Forte ran 16 times for 80 yards, a 5.0 average. Other than a 32-yarder and a 15-yarder within a minute of each other, though, his running was awful quiet the rest of the game considering his holdout and that $32M deal. But he also had 3 catches for 40 yards.
Forte had gas that was so potent, defenders were afraid to approach him from behind
Michael “Gimme that 1970’s Porn” Bush added 42 yards on 12 carries (3.5 average) with 2 TD’s, netting us over 100 rushing yards. In defense of Bush’s average, he did score twice from the 1.
Bush is a slimmer – and smarter – version of Marion ”the Librarian” Barber
The O-Line was better than expected due to the new offensive scheme that plays to our strengths, and away from our (many) weaknesses. And in the end, the Bears amassed 428 yards (20 more than we gained in Super Bowl XX) and 24 first downs (1 more than SBXX). And they only allowed 2 sacks. Those are not Bears numbers. At all.
Cutler has the time, the arm, and (finally!) the pieces to take on ANY defense
Great Expectations
Brian “Not Even Jenny McCarthy is Hot Enough for Me” Urlacher started, looked great, and was smartly benched once we ran up the score. Peanut Tilman left early “with a leg.” No update beyond that, but if he misses any time, it would be a tremendous loss defensively.
Urlacher looked as happy to be playing as we were to see him out there
Even though the defense was only decent, allowing 356 yards, 100 of that was in the fourth quarter with the game out of reach and us in a prevent. And we got 3 sacks, 3 picks and recovered a fumble (we also got one on Special Teams). On 12 drives, we held them to: 5 punts, a missed FG, 4 turnovers and only 2 offensive TD’s, the last of which didn’t come until the last 10 minutes of the game.
It’s a good sign when your defense is giddy on the sidelines
Henry “I’m So Hot, Katy Perry’s Popsicle is” Melton had a career day. He got 2 sacks – 1 shy of his entire rookie season. He also had 2 last year in week 1, but only finished the season with 7. But on Sunday he also had 3 tackles for loss. This is a guy who could have a breakout season this year.
Melton dropped a deuce in the sack department on Sunday
CB and former Colt Tim “I Get My News From Peter” Jennings also had a career day. His 2 INT ‘s were as many as he’s had in any SEASON during his five-year career. He also tipped the ball on our other pick by Chris “Pi” Conte. Another former Colt, Kelvin “Don’t Be” Hayden, and Julius “Red Hot Chilli” Peppers had fumble recoveries. And Corey Wootton “Clan” had our other sack.
5’8” Jennings played like Spud Webb in a Slam Dunk contest
And rookie first-rounder Shea “Yes to the Dress” McClellin started his first NFL game, which was almost unnoticeable. He did have one hit on fellow rookie Luck.
McClellin’s debut was uneventful – except for this homoerotic action
Season Outlook
To no one’s surprise, the Bears find themselves in a 3-way tie for first place after week 1. The big surprise is that we’re tied with DET and MIN because GB lost to SF at home – where we go this Thursday. GB’s already lost as many games as they did all of last year. We can only hope this is a new trend.
Good luck trying to match our scoring with this coming out of our tunnel each week
Quotes to Note
The Butler to Soldierz Field fans: “Please, please, please. Let’s tone it down a little bit when we’re down in(side) the 20. You’re more than welcome to yell and scream, and do whatever you want to do after we score. But please let’s go ahead and quiet the stadium down and save it for after we score. Thank you. PSA.”
Cutler, who had to call a TO in the red zone because of the noise, giving his “Shut the Fuck Up!” hand signal to the crowd
Marshall: ”Bad start to the game, great start to the season.” Direct and succinct – quite the opposite of his Twitter comments, which forced me to stop following him.
We can expect to see (and hear) plenty more from this mofo this season
Summary
Except for the first few minutes, this was a complete domination. And despite Indy being terrible and having some key injuries, we looked like a team headed to New Orleans in February. We could take a huge step toward that goal by gaining a 2-game lead on GB, which NO ONE on the planet predicted, with a W on Thursday. And that’s relevant, real-deal Holyfield.
BEAR DOWN!
© 2012
Bear Down Baffa 
Tue, Sep 11, 2012 at 11:30 am |
I thought the play of our front 4 on defense was tremendous. Henry Melton had a very solid game. While not many of these guys showed up on the stat chart, the pressure felt was much like me being constipated. Kelvin Hayden came in for Tillman after the injury and played well as one of Lovie’s 3 starting cb’s. Our safety play was better than I expected. Offensively, we were as sold with B Marshall leading the way. Looks like Jeffery is gonna be our second receiver. We will likely run the ball even better as the season goes on also. Special teams were a success too. This just might be the beginning to a Super Bowl run and we will know more after Thursday and the Fudge Packers.
LikeLike