Bear Down Baffa

Our blog has been known to use some colorful language and a lot of hyperbole to paint over-exaggerated images of how well or how poorly we’ve played in any given week.  Well I wanted to start by admitting we were wrong last week when we said that the Bears defense was “absolutely awesome,” “dominant” and “stellar.”  Because those words now seem inappropriate by comparison.  So I personally want to apologize to all our readers for under-stating what Monday night showed to be an astoundingly, annihilationary, ass-raping, nuclear bomb, end-of-the-world, global killer defense that is actually suiting up for us.  They just may be as good as the legendary ’85 Bears D, adjusted for football inflation of course.

I guess everything IS bigger in Texas – including blowouts

Defense
Sure, we gave up 26 first downs, 40 completions, 430 net yards, 18 points and only had 2 sacks – our fewest of the season.  And Dallas had a QB with a 137.1 QBR.  But we had FIVE INTERCEPTIONS (and you know we only use all caps sparingly).  And this was against Tony “Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto, Domo” Romo, whose career TD/INT ratio is 2/1, and who is second all time in Dallas TD passes.  The Cowboy’s drives went like this:  1) Punt.  2) Punt.  3) Punt.  4) Pick-6.  5) TD.  6) INT.  7) Pick-6.  8) FG.  9) INT.  10) INT.  11) TD.

Romo was flustered without Jessica Simpson in the skybox on Monday night

Romo finished 31-43 for 307 yards, 1 TD, 5 INT’s and a surprisingly high 60.1 QBR.  The QB with the 137.1?  That was Kyle “Wait, I’m In Dallas Now?” Orton, who filled in nicely on their final drive against our 8th string defense, going 9-10 for 89 yards, with 5 first downs and a TD, which accounted for about 20% of the Cowboy’s total offense.

Romo couldn’t bear to watch this left-handed pass, which was picked for 6 by Briggs

We now lead the NFL with 14 takeaways, 11 picks, and 3 Pick-6’s.  And we’re third with 15 sacks.  “George Washington Carver Did A Lot With The” Peanut Tilman broke his own Bears record with his 6th Pick-6, and Lance Briggs “And Stratton” got the fourth Pick-6 of his career.  Major “Reverend” Wright came up with 2 INT’s (his second and third this year), and D.J. “Dinty” Moore got his 9th career pick.

Peanut scores as Lovie does a “Jazz Hands” celebratory dance

Offense
We gained 360 yards and put up 20 offensive points – and we had 3 fewer drives than Dallas because the defense kept scoring, and we knelt down on our last possessions of each half.  On our 7 drives when we weren’t running out the clock, we averaged over 50 yards.  Cutler started decently, throwing short regularly (as he should), going 11-16 for 127 yards, 7.9 yards/attempt and a 113.3 QBR in the first half.

Now THAT looks like a QB ready to lead his team to a SB!

But the second half was as dominant a performance as the Butler’s had.  He was almost perfect, going 11-12 (91.7%) for 219 yards (a whopping 18.25/att!) and 2 TD’s.  He finished 18-24 (75%) for 275 yards, 11.5 /att, 2 TD’s, 0 INT’s and a 140.1 QBR – his third best QBR ever, and second best as a Bear.  And even after last night, Dallas still leads the NFL in fewest passing yards allowed.  That speaks volumes about our offense – even our offensive line played well!

The Butler made nice with Webb, who had a great game against the deadly DeMarcus Ware

Web Redemptions
After Kellen “Me Softly” Davis dropped a pass that hit him in the hands, and we went unsuccessfully three times to Devin “Don’t Call Me Seven Until I Reach The Endzone Again” Hester, I was thinking we need to stop going to these guys.  But just when I thought they couldn’t possibly be any worse, they went and did something like this – and totally redeemed themselves!  Davis made a remarkable catch, reaching over the defender, tipping it to himself, and only catching it after he was prone on the ground.  He finished with 3 receptions for 62 yards.

No picture could do Davis’s catch justice – but this one makes the Dallas defender look silly

And Seven “Yes, You Can Call Me Seven Again” Hester had a 34-yard, diving TD reception – his first in almost a year – and finished with 3 catches for 38 yards.  Brandon “Penny” Marshall, who hadn’t done much our previous two games, had 7 catches for 138 yards and a TD.

Hester actually hung onto a deep ball, only his 2nd receiving TD since 2010

Special Teams
Special Teams was almost a non-factor because both teams only punted 3 times.  But Hester averaged almost 20 yards on 3 returns, and Robbie “This Week I Was Called ‘One of the Most Accurate Kickers in NFL History’ Again” Gould had 2 more FG’s (he’s now 6 for 6 this year) and 10 points.  Dallas only started in Bear territory once – and they threw their second pick-6 on their first play of that drive.

Gould: “Wait, someone wants MY autograph?  Oh, nevermind.  I thought you wanted my autograph.”  Sigh.

Outlook
With Detroit (sucks!) losing again, we’re still tied for first place with Minni, whom we don’t play until weeks 12 and 14.  But we’re still a game ahead of GB, and that’s pretty much all that matters.  We go to 1-3 JAX next week, get our bye, and then host 1-3 DET on Monday night – our second of three Monday night games this year.  And Lovie is now 8-2 on MNF.  Iz vera nice!

Briggs needed oxygen after returning his pick – apparently he’s not in as good of shape as when he fled his crashed Lamborghini on I-94

Quotes to Note
Jim Miller:  “Going on the road, it’s a business trip.  And the Bears took care of business.”  He continued, “Everybody’s better than the Chicago Bears – until they play them.”

Another Jim Miller gem:  “Anybody could’ve thrown better than Romo tonight.  That guy couldn’t throw a party tonight!”

The Butler:  “Offensive line played extremely well, start to finish.  Ran the ball well.  When the defense is playing like that, it’s hard to lose.”  It also helped that you didn’t throw 5 picks yourself, Jay.

Nice to see the Bears dancing with glee on the road!

Bring on Atlanta, bring on Dallas!

BEAR DOWN!

© 2012

This entry was posted on Tue, Oct 2, 2012 at 2:03 pm and is filed under i) 2012 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.