Bear Down Baffa

Santa wouldn’t have to check his list twice to see on which side the Cardinals belong.  AZ showed that they were exactly who everyone thought they were – a shitty team.  And the Bears did exactly what they’ve done all year – they beat a shitty team.  Santa’s probably going to have to check that list a few more times tonight to see on which side the Bears fall.  And I’m sure the Bears are sweating that decision out as much as they’re sweating out next week’s game – like a Mayan on December 20, 2012.

An unfamiliar site of late – the Bears celebrating!

This was our first trip to AZ since that magical comeback victory on 10/16/06.  We all remember Denny “And We Let ‘Em Off The Hook” Green’s post game tirade and his quick exodus – both from the table and the NFL.  We came back from being down 23-3 late in the third quarter, making like a priest with gas on a Sunday and squeaking one out 24-23.  Of course those 21 points were all scored on defense and special teams.  It appears as though little has changed since then.

Conte gives a whole new meaning to the term “head hunter”

And so the once 7-1 (and now 9-6) Bears won a game in December for the first time in eight tries.  This includes games versus KC, Tebow’s Broncos, 2 against GB, 2 at home against Seattle, and 2 at home against Minnesota.  But since it’s the holiday season, let’s focus on the positives, no matter how few and far between they may be.

For his helmet-tackling tactics, Conte was rewarded with a nice teabag

Offense:  Blue Christmas (click the link to hear this song)
Cutler started “Ice, ice baby, too cold, too cold,” missing on his first 6 passes.  Then after completing 1, he missed his next 5, making him 1-11 for 30 yards and 2.7 yards per attempt.  But on our last drive of the first half, he went 5-5 for 76 yards, 15.2/attempt, a TD, and a 158.3 QBR, leading us on an 80-yard drive while spreading it out to 4 different receivers.  The Butler was 11 of 15 after that bad start, finishing 12 of 26 for 146 yards, 5.6/attempt, 1 TD, 0 INT’s and a 76.8 QBR.

Cutler completed only one more pass than Santa in his first 11 throws

Against a solid AZ defense, the only team with more takeaways than the Bears, we ran for 152 yards and didn’t turn it over once (our lone turnover came on special teams).  We also allowed only 1 sack.  And Marshall (6 catches, 68 yards, 1 TD) broke the Bears record for yards in a season (1,466).  He broke the receptions record already, and is now only 2 TD’s shy of the TD record.  After all this in only one season, I think it’s fair to say he’s the best Bears WR of all time.

Marshall will try for the trifecta on the Bears record book next week

Defense:  Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
With AZ playing 2 QB’s I’d never heard of, we almost shut them out defensively.  The Cards kicked a FG off of a special teams fumble in our territory, and they returned a blocked FG attempt for a TD.  Their only other points were when they settled for a 49-yard FG after having a first down at our 27.

Pep “put it on” the AZ QB’s

We limited them to 29 yards rushing, and even after protecting a 28-6 lead early in the third quarter, we held them under 250 total yards.  Peppers had 3 sacks.  And we stopped a fake punt, got 3 turnovers, and had 2 defensive scores.

Peanut is the Bears new biggest scoring threat, replacing
Hester, who hasn’t done shit since converting to offense

“Water Freezes At 273” Kelvin Hayden got his first pick as a Bear, Peanut had yet another pick-6, and Zack “And Miri Make A Porno” Bowman recovered a fumble in the end zone for a TD, giving us 9 defensive TD’s on the season. So in all, the defense was stellar.

Bowman must’ve made the nice list, as he found this present in his lap on the goal line

Outlook:  Back Door Santa
At 9-6, we’re on the bubble.  Bottom line, we need to win.  Period.  And IF we win in Detroit (sucks!) – I intentionally use all caps because the last few games with them have been heated, and they kicked our ass in Detroit (sucks!) last year – we would also need 11-4 Green Bay to win at 9-6 Minnesota.  Minn takes the common schedule tie-breaker from us.

Marshall & Jeffery need to work on their TD dance,
cuz even Stevie Wonder can see that this is gay

In the NFC West, 10-5 Seattle (who could actually win their division) and 10-4-1 San Fran (who could actually lose their division) are both in.  Whoever doesn’t win the division gets the first Wild Card.  If it’s Seattle, they take the head-to-head tie-breaker from us.

And Forte got hurt.  Again.  He’s on my naughty list.

In the NFC East, 8-7 Dallas and 8-7 NY both lost, so they’d finish a game back even if they both won.  9-6 Washington won, but they will either win the division, or lose to Dallas next week, in which case they’d finish a game behind us.

Nice touch with the “Sandy Hook Elementary School” stickers

So it’s going to be kind of easy to track Sunday because there are only 2 games that matter: ours (noon) and GB/Minn (moved to 3:30).  And GB has homefield advantage on the line, so they have plenty to play for and won’t be taking it easy.  That’s all good news for us.

Apparently this guy read my blog last week

Blog Milestone:  It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It’s been a solid 6 year run with the Bear Down Baffa blog.  The counter on the lower right corner of the main page that tallies clicks we’ve received on the blog is about to reach 10,000.  We’d like to take a moment to thank all of our dedicated readers for their loyalty over this span, but it’s pretty easy to be dedicated to brilliance, especially when you don’t have to pay for it.  So we’d like to instead take a moment to thank ourselves for providing you the uproaringly hilarious and insightful commentary we do week in and week out.  All we ask is that you please leave your name when you post a comment.

Cool stadium

Happy Holidays!  And BEAR DOWN!

© 2012

This entry was posted on Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm and is filed under i) 2012 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.