Bear Down Baffa

Just when we think we’re out, the Bears pull us back in, only to let us down yet again with a season-killing loss.  This time it was to a QB that makes about a fifth of Cutler’s salary, and who played about five times as well.  And that, Bear Nation, is completely unacceptable.  Jeremiah “Was A Bullfrog” Ratliff had 3.5 sacks.  But the rest of them – Trestman, Tucker, Cutler, Marshall – every single one of them deserves an “unacceptable” rating for the game, the month (we’re set to lose our fourth game in 28 days on Sunday) and the season to date.  And I, for one, am not accepting it.

Tannehill makes what Cutler’s kids get in allowance

You Might Be A Bears Fan
We might have lost another game that we could’ve/should’ve/would’ve won, but at least we have this new segment.  Remember that there are rednecks, there are Bears fans, and there are redneck Bears fans.  This is for any, all, and none of the above…

1. If you think 8 Pro Bowlers on offense is enough to win, you might be a Bears fan.
2. If you think Cutler is worth $35,000 a pass, you might be a Bears fan.
3. If you think Urlacher could come back and resurrect our defense, you might be a Bears fan.
4. If you long for the days when we couldn’t convert a third down, but you didn’t care because all we needed was 3 points to win, you might be a Bears fan.
5. If you find yourself crying through sleepness nights all week, yet you plan your entire weekend around our next game, you might be a Bears fan.

You’d think the Butler minored in turnovers at Vanderbilt

Offense
We allowed 3 sacks, and we turned the ball over 3 times (Cutler pick and fumble, Dante “Alighieri” Rosario fumble).  Their QB had almost as many yards rushing (48) as our All-Pro RB Matt “Hanging Onto The Ball This Week Is My” Forte (49).  Unacceptable.

Forte even let a guy named “Missy” tackle him

Cutler finished 21/34 (61.8%) for 190 yards, 5.6/att, 1 TD, 1 INT, and a 74.4 QBR.  Which is unacceptable considering his opponent, third-year QB Tannehill, was 25/32 (78.1%) for 277 yards, 8.7/att, 2 TD, 0 INT, and a 123.6 QBR.  Oh, and we turned it over on 2 of our last 4 drives.  Yep, unacceptable.

Cutler broke into his “Thriller” dance mid-pass

Defense
We gave up almost 400 yards and got no takeaways.  We did get 4 sacks, but 3.5 were from Ratliff, who had as many sacks on Sunday as he’s had in the last 3 YEARS.  Take him out of the game, and the other 10 defenders combined for half a satchel.  That is unacceptable.

Ratliff, the only Bear to say “Ain’t nobody
messin’ in my neighborhood” on Sunday

It seems we’re starting new guys on this side of the ball each week, and with so little continuity, we’re getting exposed for what we are:  a piecemeal defense that’s trying to play like a Bears defense.  It’s just a sheep in wolf’s clothing.  Bahhhh.

How many fill-ins can you name?  No, even with their jerseys on?

Special Teams
Three punts and two PAT’s, ST’s was not a factor for us this week.  Miami missed two FG’s, one of which we blocked. Whoopity-do.

Maybe Ratliff can kick FG’s or punt?

Doubtlook
GB and Detroit (sucks!) both won, so we’re 2 games behind them both.  We go to NE on Sunday for what is looking to be quite a shit storm.  Remember what they did to us in the snow a few years ago?  Yeah, think Ebola outbreak at a nudist convention: shit everywhere.  And that’s the non-graphic version, people.

No Jay, protect THE ball, not YOUR balls!

Quotes to Note
Brandon “We Ain’t” Marshall Q&A over a 4 minute timeframe:
“We’re 3 and 4.  We need to play better.  That’s unacceptable.  That’s unacceptable.  Unacceptable.  We shouldn’t have lost today, shouldn’t be 3 and 4.  Offense got to play better, it’s as simple as that.”

“Same mistakes, same mistakes, same mistakes…and this is unacceptable, what did we put up 14 points?  Was it 14 points?  That’s unacceptable.  That’s unacceptable.”

“The Chicago Bears should not be 3-4 right now.  Absolutely unacceptable.  And it starts on our offensive side of the ball.”

“We got to do a better job.  This is unacceptable.  It’s unacceptable.  Unacceptable…3-4 is unacceptable.  It’s unacceptable.  And it starts with us on the offense.”

“We’re 3 and 4.  We’re 3 and 4, it’s unacceptable.  It’s unacceptable.  3 and 4 is unacceptable.  You want me to say it again?  3 and 4 is unacceptable.  It’s unacceptable.  You don’t get a tomorrow in this league, we’re halfway through the season.  We’re halfway through the season.  It’s time.”

~ Whew, he said it!  Does anyone else feel like they just got a colonoscopy?

Wow, Jay doesn’t even like America?!

Ratliffe on what happened: “I can’t sit here and really give you an honest answer, so I’m just, I really don’t know.”  ~ Now THAT is an honest answer!

Kyle “The String On My Tampon Is A Bit Too” Long reacting to boos from fans at halftime: “I don’t know if upset is the word that I would use, but as somebody who is blood, sweat and tears…to be getting booed at home when you’re walking off the field down two possessions is unacceptable.  Especially when there’s no noise being made on third down.  Period.”  ~ Oh, STFU and play football, you big fucking pussy!

Cutler is beginning to fade into obscurity –
wealthy obscurity, but obscurity nonetheless

Supa Bow, Supa NO!

BEAR DOWN!

#RatliffForQB

© 2014

This entry was posted on Mon, Oct 20, 2014 at 1:39 pm and is filed under g) 2014 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.