Bear Down Baffa

Two bottom feeders played “not it” with the “Worst Team in the NFC” trophy on Sunday in the worst city in the country, Detroit (sucks!).  The 2-3 Bears had lost 4 straight to the Lions (including Detroit’s last win), and the 0-5 Lions (losers of 6 straight) were the league’s last winless team.  Both lost their highest paid defenders, both recently benched their QB’s and both are headed nowhere fast.  But the Bears won out as the team most detrimental to its own good, which is saying a helluva lot considering how hard the Lions fought to keep that title!  Detroit deserves a ton of credit for actually “playing” worse, they just wound up winning because the Bears “are” worse.  So we made the drive home with the trophy strapped to the roof like Mitt Romney’s dog.  And the only thing worse than being Romney’s dog, or going to Detroit, is leaving Detroit a loser.

Bears players try to force “NFC Worst” belt onto Detroit player

Recap
It was the kind of game where you feel good that at least 1 crappy team will get a win, and you don’t sweat the bad calls (which in this game were aplenty).  It went back and forth, but the Bears would only lead for 3 1/2 minutes before the 4th quarter.  Detroit scored a TD on their 1st drive, and the Bears answered back with a FG.  We held them to a 3-and-out with a 3rd down sack, and then took a 3-point lead after driving 67 yards for a TD.  But as quickly as we scored, we decided we’d had enough of the whole “playing with the lead” thing.

Apparently this is a TD catch in the NFL now

We started with the penalties on Detroit’s 3rd drive.  Will “They Snap It On 1 Or 2?  I Bet It’s On 1!” Sutton jumped offsides, negating a sack.  So instead of a 2nd-and-23 from the 20, the Lions had a 1st-and-5 at their 38.  And they took advantage by completing a 43-yard pass to Calvin Johnson.  Then Sam “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah” Acho moved them halfway to our goal line with a facemask, and the Lions scored a TD the next play.  But there was plenty more.

Another pass to Johnson – while you can’t see
the ball, odds are he came down with this one

We then committed a penalty on the ensuing kickoff, negating a 57-yard return by Marc “Mini” Mariani.  So instead of starting at the 50, we were at our 23.  And on our first play from scrimmage, Kyle “I Can Hold These Guys All Day” Long got called for holding.  This moved us back to a 1st-and-20 at the 13, and gave Detroit 113 yards on 6 plays in under 2 minutes.  That swing alone is worthy of stealing their crown.

Sure enough, Johnson DID catch it!

We turned that drive around though, once the Lions began fighting to keep their title.  They gave up a 17-yard screen, then committed a 15-yard penalty.  Two plays later, Cutler threw up a 50-yard bomb that we caught after the defender fell, giving us a 1st-and-goal at the 5.  But without the Lions actually carrying us into the endzone, we settled for a FG.  Not to be out-done, we let Detroit go 87 yards on 12 plays to score another TD before giving us the ball back with a minute left.  And after taking a sack, we were able to kneel and let the clock run out before we accidentally scored, and hit half time trailing by 8.

Wait, is Johnson STILL running?!
Somebody tackle Johnson, wouldja?!

In the 2nd half, the Lions put their plan to lose into full effect, but the Bears put up a solid game of their own.  Detroit let us drive 74 yards, but after a 1st-and-goal at the 6, Cutler threw a pick into the endzone.  Detroit punted, and we punted it right back.  But they just dropped it like it had cooties, and the Bears were forced to recover at their 19.  Kyle “Still Holding…Still Holding” Long held again so that we’d only get 3 points.  Then after Detroit kicked a FG, we punted right back.  This time they didn’t even take over possession – they just let it hit their leg, and we were again forced to recover it at their 21.  Even the Bears couldn’t fail to score with THAT many chances from THAT close, so we stumbled into the endzone, cutting the lead to 1 early in the 4th.

Stafford’s Lions did all they could to hand us this one –
but there was nobody there to take it

But Detroit would not be deterred, and continued to provide us aid like a hurricane-affected, 3rd world country.  We picked them off at their 24, and after failing on a 3rd-and-goal from the 8, another Lion penalty gave us a 1st-and-goal at the 4.  It took us 3 more plays to get in from there, but a 2-point conversion gave us a 7-point lead with less than 8 minutes left.  The Lions were getting their way, but the Bears were gonna do all they could to stop it.

Martellus when you’re going to start catching the ball again!

We let Detroit kill 5 minutes while going 67 yards to kick a FG, including running a fake-punt for 30 yards, and we got the ball back with 2 1/2 minutes left.  But like a hot potato, we 3-and-outed (on 3 “First Half” Forte runs) while they called 3 timeouts, and we tossed it back after only 19 seconds.  Then we let them go 66 yards in less than 2 minutes before stopping them on a 3rd-and-2 at our 3.  But Pernell “My New LEAST Favorite Bear” McPhee roughed the QB.  Detroit scored a TD on the next play, taking a 3-point lead, and gave it back with just 0:21 left.

1 sack doesn’t negate a drive-saving, TD-enducing penalty, holmes

The Lions had one trick left up their sleeve, though, letting us go 69 yards on 3 plays in just 17 seconds.  Cutler completed 25 and 24-yard passes to Jeffery on the sideline, and then Detroit committed a pass interference penalty, putting us on their 11.  It was a valiant, last ditch effort to lose.  But with only 0:04 left, we only had time for the FG to tie it at the end of regulation.

Cutler had it rough facing both the Lions AND Bears defenses

But OT was just more of the same.  Detroit got the ball and drove, but punted after McPhee got a 3rd down sack at midfield.  We 3-and-outed, they 3-and-outed, we 3-and-outed.  I was beginning to think tie.  Then Detroit got frustrated, drove 80 yards (on a 57-yard pass to Johnson), and set up the game-winning FG.  The Bears, on the other hand, remained true to their cause.  Cutler went just 1 for 3 for 9 yards in extra time, with “FH” Forte getting just 3 yards on 3 carries.  I guess we just wanted the loss more, so we got it.

Prater also beat us with Tebow and Coach Fox on a late FG in 2011

The Low Down
The QB stats were eerily similar, though Stafford led in every category.  The biggest difference is quite obvious when compared side by side.

Cutler: 26/41 (63.4%), 353 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, 88.8 QBR

Stafford: 27/42 (64.3%), 405 yards, 4 TD’s, 1 INT, 117.7 QBR

Stafford’s lone pick did lead to 7 Bear points, and the Lions didn’t score after Cutler’s pick.  But while that turnover didn’t cost us points, it did cost us time.  And ultimately, lack of time is what led to this loss.  Well, that, and us wanting it more.  And us sucking.

Even Jeffery’s return, along with his patented
spinning back-kick TD catch, wasn’t enough for the Bears

We gained 444 yards, and scored 34 points, but Detroit’s defense is ranked almost as low as ours.  “FH” Forte was no where to be seen in the 1st half.  Or the 2nd.  He had just 46 yards on 9 touches in the 1st half, and only 43 in the 2nd and OT on a whopping 18 touches.  He did get another rushing TD, but it was only a 2-yard carry, and he had his fewest yards per run (2.9) since we last played Detroit.  Man, “FH” Forte sucks against Detroit (sucks!).

Is it me, or does Jay look a little depressed here?

The defense remains a perplexing group.  We got 2 sacks (Eddie “Sachs &” Goldman and Jarvis “Fergie” Jenkins split the 1st one) and 3 turnovers, but 2 of them came on special teams.  And while we did come up with some clutch stops, we gave up 546 yards on 76 plays (7.2 per), including 166 on just 6 catches to Johnson, and 37 points.  And that was against a team that hadn’t won since the 1st day of winter last year.

The Bears played chase all day – on the field, and the scoreboard

Were there bad calls?  Yup.  Did the refs impact the game?  Certainly.  But it went both ways, and we had our fair share of chances, including getting the ball twice in OT.  So we have no one to blame but ourselves.  And the Lions – for being worse at sucking than us.

Mini Mariani was again relegated to special teams – and
getting pounced on.  Yep, that’s him buried under there!

Doubtlook
You could realistically talk playoffs at 3-3, especially with only 2 non-division-leading teams over .500.  In fact, if we had won Sunday, we’d currently be the second Wild Card!  But at 2-4, the only team with fewer wins is the Lions, and they only trail us by 1 while currently taking the tie-breaker.  I’d say that makes us the 2nd worst team in the NFC – if we hadn’t just lost to the worst team.  Add in the fact that the Bears are the only NFC team without a win versus another NFC team, that makes us officially the worst team in the NFC.  Happy fucking 2015!

Raise your hand if you think the Bears are the NFC’s worst team!

Quotes of Note
Sideline reporter Jen Hale on Stafford: “One difference for him, QB’s coach Jim Bob Cooter is down on the field with him this game.”  ~ I don’t know which is funnier, his last name, or his first two.  Heh-heh, she said “cooter.”

Cutler trying to avoid the “Worst in NFC” stank – unsuccessfully

Fox on his highest scoring game as a Bear Coach (by 11 points):  “We scored 34 points.  I think in this league that’s usually enough.  Today it wasn’t.”  ~ Yes, in this league that’s usually enough.  But not when you suck, which you clearly do.  So the words “usually” and “enough” should not be used in the same sentence, Coach.

Porter: “Wait, am I supposed to cover this guy all by myself?!”

BEAR DOWN?

#4LossesDown,10ToGo

© 2015

Message From The Editor
If you enjoy reading this blog, and want to continue, we are gonna have to work together to drum up some readers.  There are so few people viewing at this point, it would take less time to call them all individually and tell them what I’m thinking than it does to write each week.  What can you do to help?

1)  Post comments on here.  I just found out it makes you login and fill something out to do so, but if you do that once, it should be easier to post future comments.  Often once 1 person comments, the floodgates open.

2)  Share my post announcements on Facebook.  Yes, you can do this each week, but even once opens me up to a much larger audience.  And you can add a comment about what you like about the blog when you do so.

3) Follow me, Reply, Favorite or Retweet my Tweets on Twitter.

4) Phone a friend.  Just kidding!  I didn’t think even YOU would keep reading this far!

Thanks for reading!  And Bear down!

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