Bear Down Baffa

Finally, we did something right.  We lost our season finale at home against a division rival with whom we were tied for last place.  This renders us 1-7 at home – and you can only get one loss worse than that.  Most seasons, that would be horrific.  But the Bears did what they knew was best – they took one on the chin in an exhibition game to ensure we draft ahead of Detroit (sucks!), a team that has taken 6 straight from us.  And in doing so, we’ve secured the 11th spot in the draft versus what could’ve been as high as the 17th if we had won, and Detroit falls back to 16th.  It’s finally over, AND we get a good draft spot.  I guess it really is a Happy New Year!

Referee Bill “What the fuck are YOU lookin at?!”
Jones doesn’t like cameras at his coin tosses

Recap
We kicked off.  They had the ball, then we had the ball.  They scored more points than we did.  We lost.

Mariani led us in receptions with 6.  Yup, it was THAT bad.

The Low Down
The Lion’s Offensive Coordinator’s name is Jim Bob Cooter.  The announcers couldn’t stop saying his name.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  But I won’t disrespect his parents by trying to make a joke about something already so hysterically brilliant.

Cutler: “I got this, guys!” – right before showing he didn’t have it

Outlook
We are drafting several places higher because of this loss.  If we had lost to Tampa Bay last week, we’d be drafting as low as 8th.  But 11th is better than 18th, which is what we were looking at last week.  And now new GM Pace will have nice positioning from which to draft all the missing pieces for his scheme, most importantly our mediocre-at-best 3-4 defense.  And maybe another punter (* note sarcasm).

Stafford: “I got this, guys!” – right before showing he did, in fact, have it

I thought rock-bottom would have been lower this year.  I thought it would hurt a lot more, too.  I convinced myself that I was living in Seinfeld’s bizarro world where a Bear loss was really a win.  And somehow it worked.  I’m glad it’s over, don’t get me wrong.  But I didn’t shed one tear.  And I do like our 2016 draft position.

The biggest difference in this game?  Detroit
picked their QB up whenever he screwed up.

For one last time I’ll say it – I certainly wouldn’t have minded finishing 2-14 and drafting #1 in every round this year!

Houston celebrating a sack AGAIN as others look on uncomfortably

Quotes of Note – Special Edition: “The Jay Cutler Interception Story”
Fox commentator on Cutler throwing fewer picks this year: “He hasn’t had a game where he’s had multiple interceptions yet (this year).  The first drive ends in one.” ~ How do you spell foreshadowing again?

Farewell Forte?

Fox commentator on Cutler throwing fewer picks this year:  “Cutler came into the game as the only QB in the NFL that’d made at least 10 starts and hadn’t been intercepted twice in a game.  And in the first half, it’s happened twice.” ~ It was almost like they knew the picks were coming.

Nope

Jimmy Johnson during half-time, chiming in on Cutler: “Jay Culter’s…had only 8 INT’s all year, (but he threw) 2 in the 1st half.  Got to be disappointing.” ~ This quote would’ve won the Captain Obvious edition 2 weeks ago.

Fox to Cutler: “Hey Jay, lets’ see if you can squeeze in 1 more pick.”

Michael Strahan, also getting a piece of Jay:  “You had the turnover in the endzone, the turnover at mid-field.  It’s hard enough to win without the turnovers, but you commit 2 turnovers at the most inopportune time.” ~ Next week, Strahan will describe for all of us the most opportune time to turn it over.

Fox goes all in on the newly required post-game,
Head Coach kiss that must take place on the field

Fox commentator on Cutler throwing fewer picks this year:  “A lot of frustration from Jay Cutler…the ball there floated up in the air…(an) easy interception, Cutler’s third of the day.  Clearly, Jay Cutler’s frustrated.” ~ And that, folks, is how you jump up in the draft without having to “trade” up.  Booyah!

Both teams Tebow’ed it out on the field after the game looking
for the strength to go home and face their families as losers

BEAR DOWN!

#JesusHChristI’mGladIt’sOver!!

© 2016

This entry was posted on Mon, Jan 4, 2016 at 6:25 pm and is filed under f) 2015 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.