Bear Down Baffa

We were supposed to be rebuilding, which started in 2013.  We’ve gone 19-32 since.  That’s a .372 winning percentage.  And not only are we not getting better, we’re getting worse.  We can’t even win at home, and we just lost to a rookie QB for the second straight week.  At 0-3 for the second straight year, it appears that we have to start the rebuild all over again.  You can blame management, coaches, players, injuries, change – you can blame whatever or whomever you want.  The bottom line is the Bears are performing as well as a belly dancer with the hiccups and diarrhea.  If only that belly dancer played QB, we’d at least have a chance.

Dallas QB Dak Prescott is smiling because
the Bears passed on drafting him – 6 times

In hindsight, I guess Cutler picked the right time to get hurt this year.  It was awful timing when he went down in 2011 while we were 7-3.  It’s much easier to accept when you suck.  So we got that going for us, which is nice.  But that’s just an ignorance-laden bliss.  Because even when the Butler comes back, half our defensive starters will still be hurt.  And until then, we’re stuck with Brian “I’ve Been On More NFL Rosters Than I Haven’t” Hoyer.  It’s going to be a long winter.

This guy really wants you to know that he’s our “#2” QB

The Low Down
Hoyer brought his surprising 15-11 career record to an offense that had unsurprisingly scored just 21 points on 22 possessions.  And on his 10 possessions, Hoyer put up 17 points.  Was he great?  Absolutely not.  But at 30/49 (61.2%) for 317 yards and a QBR of 93.7, he performed better than Cutler has, despite averaging less than 10 yards a completion.  Not per attempt, per completion.  But since Cutler sucks, that ain’t saying much.  And after all, it did lead to the same result.

Hoyer: “Yeah, I got this!”  – as he shows he ain’t got this

Hoyer still managed to squeak a Cutler-esque fumble in, but it wasn’t until the last couple minutes.  He didn’t throw any picks, but Cameron “I Fumbled My First Catch This Season” Meredith fumbled his first catch of the season.  So our turnover ratio was still a negatory.  We did gain almost 400 yards, and we had 6 different players with plays of 20+ yards, but that was mostly due to Dallas playing a prevent with a big lead most of the game.

Zach “I Celebrate TD’s When We’re Down By 14” Miller  –
celebrating 1 of his 2 TD’s, each of which cut the lead to 14

On the flip side, our defense is starting to look Trestman-esque.  We gave up 25 first downs, 7 yards per play for 65 plays, 200 yards rushing, 250 passing, 31 points, and we didn’t get a sack.  And this was all against a rookie QB and a rookie RB.  And even when we do something right, it’s wrong.  Our lone takeaway came when a Dallas receiver fumbled – at our 16 yard line, after gaining 47 yards, and while we were down 21 points.  It was more like a punt than a turnover.

Their fumble.  See the little guy all the way
in the back?  That’s the line of scrimmage.

Doubtlook
Come on, man!  At 0-3, our chances of making the playoffs statistically are like 6%.  But that would only be possible if we instantly got A LOT better, and that just ain’t gonna happen.  We play the next three Sundays at noon against teams with a combined record of 2-7 (DET, @Indy, JAX).  I predicted we’d win 1 of our first 4, and I stand behind that.  But only because 1-2 Detroit (Sucks!) sucks.  And maybe a little because we’ve got Connor “I’m Way Cheaper Than Gould” Barth, who finally made his first FG.

Due to a Robbie Gould clause in his contract, Barth Vader
only has to make 1 out of every 2 attempts to keep his job

Quotes of Note
Jim Miller, “I have no problem that the Bears didn’t (draft) a QB, because they need every position.” ~ Great, they’re already talking about next year’s draft, and it’s only the third game of the year.

Still, Barth Bag could only get 1 guy to high five him – and that
was only because Barth protested during the national anthem

Jim Miller, after bringing up the draft after just the third game of the year: “I hate to be talking about the draft already, it’s only the third game of the year.” ~ Well it is only 7 months away.

Yes, that’s Prosinki (who else would it be?!)
letting a rookie jump right over his head

Hoyer: “You’re sitting there at 0-3…(corrected himself)…0-2, down 24-3 at halftime, you see the true character of people.” ~ Yes, Brian, we’ve seen your true character.  You count us out at halftime.

Hoyer (to himself):  “I think I just took a #2.”

Comcast’s Moon Mullin: “I think the Bears have been out-played in every phase, every game.” ~ Geez, Moon, when you put it like that it sounds even worse than I was saying.

Dallas coach Jason Garrett confirms that our #2 just took a #2

Coach Fox: “All I know is that when it’s not going well, (you) either give up, give in or give it your all.” ~ I believe the Bears have tried all three, Coach.  And failed at each.

Is it me, or does it look like Coach Fox has post game plans?
CAUSE WHAT ELSE WOULD HE BE LAUGHING ABOUT?!

BEAR DOWN?

#LikeABellyDancerWithTheHiccupsAndDiarrhea

© 2016

This entry was posted on Tue, Sep 27, 2016 at 7:47 am and is filed under e) 2016 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.