Bear Down Baffa

It seems like every week in the NFL you see something you’ve never seen before.  And this week was no different.  The Bears earned their second 3-game win streak this year, and were absolutely dominant in every aspect of the game; that is, except for our kicking game.  We broke new ground there, with Cody “Squi” Parkey not only missing 4 kick attempts, but getting all 4 of them blocked by the goalposts.  If that’s not a record, it should be.  It was so bad, Coach Matt “When My Kicker Hits 4 Uprights, I Get Awfully” Nagy actually benched him – probably to put him out of his misery.  But the Bears padded their first place lead with yet another shellacking nonetheless.  Man, if we ever have our entire roster show up, we’ll be unbeatable.

Squi:  “If those damn poles weren’t in the way, I’d be money!”

The Low Down
The Bears were once again dominant, running out to a big (26-0) early lead again.   This is the 5th game in a row where we’ve had at least a 10-point lead.  And this week, it appeared as though we’ve finally figured out how to hang onto one.  And it came just in time.  Not only was this our 1st division win in 2 years, but we had lost 9 of 10 against the Lions, dating back to Trestman in 2013.  But prior to that string, from 2008-12, the Bears had won 9 out of 10 from Detroit.  If the past is prologue, that doesn’t bode well for the Lions over the next 5 years.  And we get them again in 10 days.

We certainly seem to have taken well to the celebrating

Well, it only took Squi a week to make it back on our shart list.  Talk about boofing it in the devil’s triangle!  He missed 4 of his 6 attempts (2 FGs and 2 XPTs), hitting Soldierz Field’s southwestern upright 3 times.  It’s almost a shame he wasn’t able to “touch ‘em all” (which they call hitting for the “cyclone”).  Nine times out of ten (like if it was Timmy, or P.J., or Tobin), that would lead to a pink slip and an empty locker.  But we just signed Parkey in March for 4 years and $15M, and $9M of that is guaranteed.  So like Brett Kavanaugh, we’re stuck with him whether we like it or not.

Squi:  “Do you think I should go all ‘Trump’ on them in the
post game interviews, and maybe blame Hillary?  Or Jesus?”

But literally everyone else on our squad played well, as the Bears already scored 4 offensive TDs half-way through the 2nd quarter.  And the defense was once again on fleek.  Not only did we hold Stafford to a 74.9 QBR, but we got 3 takeaways, and 6 sacks – 2 of which came via the return of Khalil “Sack.”  Leonard “Pretty Boy” Floyd got his first sack of the year, while Bryce “WaterhouseCoopers” Callahan got a sack AND a pick.  And Roquan “The Tampon” Smith really plugged up the box, leading us again with 9 tackles, and getting a sack of his own.  The only thing they DIDN’T do was score.

The Bryce is right!

The Troubador has only played 21 NFL games, but he’s already proving to be a star.  In the 1st half alone, he was 14/16 for 209 yards, 2TDs, and a “perfect” 158.3 QBR.  He finished 23/30 for 355 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, and a 148.6 QBR.  On the season, he’s 190/290 (65.5%) for 2,304 yards (8/att), with 19 TDs, only 7 INTs, and a 101.6 QBR.  That puts him on pace for 338 completions for 4,000 yards, 34 TDs and 12 INTs – which is FAR better than ANY season in Cutler’s ENTIRE career.  And all that for about a $10M annual savings over the Butler.  And we’ve got him at that discounted rate for another 2 ½ years.

Truby is like a discount at Filene’s Basement.  Booyah!

Outlook
So the Bears jump out to 6-3, and have made it halfway through our staff’s predicted 6-game winning streak.  Minnesota (5-3-1) was off, which means they’ll be rested and ready when we host them on Sunday night.  If we lose, they take first place back from us.  But if we win, we jump out to a 1 ½ game lead in our division with 6 left to play.  And then we head to Detroit on Thanksgiving to rain down on the Nuge’s parade some more.

If “Sack” keeps it up, he’s gonna steal Dent’s “Sackman” moniker

Quotes of Note
el Truberino, when asked what he’d say to his critics:  “Nothing.  I don’t say anything.  I don’t listen to it, I don’t hear it, so I don’t say anything.”  And when the writer started to ask a follow-up, Trubes cut him off:  “I don’t care.  One bit.” ~ Mmmm, Mitch’s got some balls.  Make that 7 sacks!

The Biscuit to his critics:  “Suck it, critics!”

Jim Miller, on Truby Tuesday’s evolution:  “You could tell Mitchell Trubisky today was on point…he’s playing fast…he’s processing information…And when he’s playing fast, and he’s processing all those things at that speed, that’s dangerous for a defense.” ~ Suck it, opposing defenses!

If no-name defenders keep having games
like Callahan, I pity opposing offenses, too

Lou Canellis, citing a radio interview with an NFL exec last week that was brutally critical of Trubi-Won Kenubi (“You couldn’t get me to buy Trubisky if you had him on discount at Filene’s Basement…he can’t throw the ball inbounds half the time.  I mean, it’s a joke.”):  “He made that NFL exec eat his words today.” ~ Hmmm, I thought that 6 TD game might’ve already done that.

I think maybe Truby heard that interview

Canellis:  “You don’t cut a kicker after guaranteeing him 9M bucks.” ~ I told ya.  Even Lou knows!

Squi:  “Can you guys sneak me outta here
like they did Sylvester Stallone in “Victory?”

Squi:  “I just got to trust in what I’m doing, and trust that my lord and savior Jesus Christ makes no mistakes.” ~ Wait, did he just blame f-ing God?!

Oh no he di’int!

Nagy, when asked if Squi hitting 4 posts is concerning:  “Well, it’s certainly not amusing.” ~ Funny.  But if you asked me what it’s like having an over-paid kicker who can’t miss a goalpost, I’d say it’s the scariest environment imaginable.

Roquan to Stafford:  “Who hits harder, Sack or me?”

Nagy, when asked if there was any chance we’d look at other kickers this week:  “Oh no.  There’s zero chance of that.” ~ So you’re telling me there’s a chance!

Could we actually have MVP candidates on both sides of the ball?
Yes.  The answer is yes.

BEAR DOWN!

Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!

#Nagy>Trestman
#Truby>TheButler
#HittingForTheCyclone
#TheBryceIsRight
#SaleRackAtFilene’sBasement
#StuckWithSqui
#SquiBlamedJesus

© 2018

This entry was posted on Mon, Nov 12, 2018 at 7:52 pm and is filed under c) 2018 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.