Bear Down Baffa

It’s all fun and games until your $15M kicker shits on the fan – and aims the fan at grandma.  Only Cody “Squi” Parkey could out-do his “4 posts on 4 kicks.”  This jackmo (who nobody liked BEFORE the season, I might add) hit not 1, but 2 posts on 1 kick!  It was an impressive feat in and of itself, but he achieved it in the playoffs, at the buzzer, and with the game in the balance.  We all saw it coming, and yet it was STILL epic!  You kind of have to give it up to him.  He then went on the Today Show and blamed it on Jesus, which took it to a whole new level.  Even Trump weighed in, tweeting: “OMFG, Parkey is a LOSER!  He did more damage than Hillary and Obama combined!  Somebody grab him by the pussy.  I can kick a 43-yard FG.  I kick the best FGs.  But don’t feel bad – all Bear fans are Democrats.  Also, as a reminder, Rosie O’Donnell is a pig.”

Squi trying to drop a literal deuce after his goalpost deuce

The Low Down
This Bears season was an over-achievement, but it was no fluke.  It was part of the plan.  We went from perennial losebags to a team nobody wants to face.  You’ve got to get to that point, and then lose in the post season to complete your development.  Then you come back pissed off the next year and destroy everybody (* see ’85 Bears after losing in the ’84 playoffs).  And that’s the best place to be in – even better than having won a Supa Bow.  We’ve officially entered Win-Now mode, which is exactly what we’ve been waiting for for 6 years.  And everyone on our squad is PISSED!

Remember this collage when we go 16-0 next year

We won our division handily, put together a 9-1 run, and led the league in a number of defensive categories.  That’s something to be proud of – even without a playoff victory.  And now expectations for next year are justifiably the highest they’ve been in decades.  We’re heavy favorites to win our division and host a playoff game.  Can you even remember what that feels like?  I can, and it feels glorious!  Imagine if our new DC Chuck Pagano can get more out of our D than Fangio?  Or if we find a way to use Jordan “3.7 Yards/ Carry” Howard more effectively?  Or if we replace Squi?  Wouldn’t any of those automatically make us Supa Bow favorites?!

Rumor is “Bird Box‘s” Sandra Bullock is being brought in for a tryout

Sure, it’s awful news that the 2018-19 season is over.  But the good news is the Bears were built for 2019 and 2020.  And it’s now 2019!  Every roster necessity is under contract through those seasons.  2018 was supposed to be the year we transition from loser to winner, and tee ourselves up for a multi-year run.  Next year, our entire offense will have played a year in Nagy’s scheme, which is especially critical for Trubisky.  And he’s relatively cheap for 2 more years, so we’ll have a bit more to spend on that missing piece over the next 2 off-seasons.  And Nagy’s got a year of head coaching mistakes under his belt now.  We’re going to be even better next year – the only question is how much.

Nagy, to himself:  “Even Cadet Bone Spurs could kick it from 43 yards!”

The “Captain And” Khalil Mack was not part of our rebuild plan.  No one saw him coming.  But he became available, and we pivoted.  We would’ve been stupid not to.  Maybe there was a plan to sign the best free agent EDGE rusher this off-season, or to draft one (we’d still have picks if we hadn’t traded for Mack).  But instead, we filled that slot when the best defender in the league just happened to fall into our lap a year early, and that inadvertently pushed fan expectations for a Supa Bow ring up by one season.  So it stings a little now, but this team wasn’t blueprinted to bring home a trophy this year.

Not for long…

Think about it – with a new head coach, a new scheme, a young QB running that scheme, and 4 new receivers – you can’t exactly hit the ground running offensively.  We became a completely different O almost overnight.  Wait until these guys have an off-season to process it all, and a year’s worth of tape to review and learn from.  The Troubador will continue to grow, he’ll become more comfortable with the playbook, and he’ll be able to run it more effectively.  Nagy has said that next year he’s only calling plays that Truby Tuesday has been successful with.  If our defense changes nothing, it will remain just as good – but our offense will be better.  MUCH better.  And even better in 2020.

The “Professional” part should be removed

Our two biggest weaknesses are our inability to run, and our kicking game.  That’s a pretty short list, especially compared to what that list looked like for the last 6 years.  Both of those shortcomings were evident throughout the season, and both were at least part of the reason we lost this game.  I don’t think Squi will be our kicker next season.  I think they’ll keep him around to compete with other kickers in Training Camp, but then he gone!  We’ll just have to write off the $4-5M dead cap loss because he would negatively impact morale too much to keep him around, even if he started making kicks.  And we all know he’s not going to start making kicks.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought of Bartman as a hero

As a season summary, I’m sharing a video of a friend of mine who recorded himself while walking out of Soliderz on Sunday.  Sometimes, when someone else says it so perfectly, the best thing to do is to use that instead of trying to reiterate it with different words.  He’s kind of a soft-spoken guy, so it takes him a few moments to get warmed up.  But he really puts things into perspective regarding the loss, Squi’s deuce dropping, and the end of the Bears 2018-19 season.

Here’s to 2019 and 2020!  As Jim Miller would advise, get ready to strap open your party boots!

BEAR DOWN!

Supa Bow, Supa BEARS (in 2019 and 2020)!

#TrumpKicksTheBestFGs
#RosieO’DonnellIsAPig

© 2019

This entry was posted on Sat, Jan 12, 2019 at 4:52 pm and is filed under c) 2018 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.