Bear Down Baffa

The 2020 Bears are winning ugly, and they’ve already found 2 different ways to do it.  Last week, we trailed by 17 in the 3rd quarter before Trubisky brought us back.  But this week, we LED by 17 in the 3rd before we let the Giants come back on US.  Three unanswered NY scores (including 2 FGs off of Mitch’s 2 INTs) shrunk the lead to 4 with 7:43 left.  But with NY star Saquon “QAnon” Barkley going down after just 4 carries, and the Giants having little else, our impressive 1st half was enough to stave off our abysmal 2nd.  And we advance to 2-0, shocking everyone.  Well, everyone except the Bears themselves, our blog staff, and the courageous and legendary Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG, RIP).  As we all remember, the 2 last things she said on her death bed were:  1. Don’t let Trump replace me, and 2. Bears all the way in 2020, case closed!  

The 2020 Bears:  Winning Ugly and Winning Empty

The Low Down
In the 1st half, Mitch was 13/18 for 159 yards, 2 TDs, and a wonderful 136.1 QBR.  Meanwhile, NY QB Daniel “2019 #6 Overall Pick” Jones was 5/8 for 73 yards, 1 INT, and a measly 52.6 QBR.  The game SHOULD’VE been over at that point, and though it turned out that it was, we didn’t know for sure until the very last play.  Jones went on to complete 20 passes for 173 yards in the 2nd half, while Mitch was just 5/10 for 31 yards, 2 INTs, and a ghastly 17.1 QBR the rest of the way.  It was the opposite of the 1st half for both QBs – as well as for Mitch compared to last week, when he started horribly, but crushed it late.  I guess playing 1 good half per game is better than playing 0 good halves.  I mean, as long as you end up 2-0, it is.  Right?

Even our line was like, “Wait, you’re sucking in the 2ND half now?”

And on top of that, Mitch’s final reception was tipped at the line before miraculously falling into the hands of Guard Bobby “When I Kick And Pass We’ll Have More Fun” Massie, which inexplicably converted a 4th-and-2 in Giant territory.  It was Mitch’s only 1st-down completion in Q4, and we went on to miss a 50-yard FG 4 plays later after Mitch got sacked for the 4th time.  So in the 2nd half, Mitch completed just 4 passes to Bear WRs while completing 2 to NYG defenders.  He was SO bad that Jones actually caught up to him.  Before the Giant’s final drive (after each team had 9 possessions), their numbers were about as close as they get.  Jones: 19/28 for 193 yards.  And Mitch: 18/28 for 190 yards.  And that right there is the most painful Mitch stat of the day, folks.

Mitch to the Bear’s sideline:  “Wait, what quarter is this?
I can’t remember whether I’m supposed to suck or not!”

In the end, the difference was Mitch’s 2 TD passes to Jones’s 0.  Counting Massie, Mitch targeted 12 guys (up from 11 last week), which may be a record, since I don’t think teams suit 12 WRs, TEs and RBs combined, let alone use them (other than on Special Teams, I mean).  And Mitch completed passes to 10 of them (up from 8 last week).  He also put together two 1st-half TD drives of at least 80 yards.  And not to be a Mitch-apologist, but Anthony “Maybe I Had One Too Many Lite Beers From” Miller not only finished with 0 catches on 4 targets (all of which were on 3rd downs, btw), but he flat-out dropped 2.  And just like those pictures women paint while drinking wine with their girlfriends, it’s hard to tell which drop was uglier, but it’s not worth the effort to figure it out.

Nagy to Mitch:  “Hey Mitch, no more throws to Miller on 3rd down!”

Miller’s 1st target (Q1) was perfectly thrown into the endzone (like the game-winner he caught last week), and would’ve been a TD (we settled for a FG).  He didn’t drop his 2nd target (later in Q1), but only because he gave up on it instead of laying out, and that would’ve been a 1st down (we punted).  His 3rd (Q3) was his 2nd “drop,” and it too would’ve been a 1st down (we punted again).  His 4th (Q4) was deflected at the line and never reached him (we missed a FG).  It makes you wonder, though, if he would’ve been able to pull off another drop if the ball had only made it to him.  Had he caught anything, he would’ve been Mitch’s 11th receiver, which might also have been a record.  At least for the Bears, since we don’t ever have 11 different receivers in a SEASON.

Yes, THIS pass (which we’ve labelled “Drop #1”) was in fact dropped.

And so, the Bear’s 1st-half drives went:  TD, FG, punt, punt, and TD.  But our 2nd-half drives went:  INT, punt, INT, and missed FG.  So we still have more questions than answers.  The good news is David “3 Card Monte” Montgomery had another great game, and the most efficient of his young career.  After gaining 74 yards on 14 touches last week (a 5.3 avg), he gained 127 on 19 this week (a 6.7 avg).  Over 16 games in his rookie season last year, he averaged just 4.0 yards/ touch.  He also took it up a notch with a spectacular run after a short pass that he turned into a 28-yard TD on our opening drive.  He may be the only reason Mitch still has a job (other than Mitch’s guaranteed $, that is).

After he scored, Montgomery showed off some of the moves
he learned in his British dance crew, called “Monte’s Python”

Defensively, we were solid for 3 quarters, and OK for 1.  NY’s 1st-half drives went:  fumble, punt, INT, punt, and missed FG.  But their 2nd-half drives went:  punt, FG, TD, FG, and then time expired on their final possession as we deflected a 3rd-down pass at our goal line.  That’s how close this game was.  But Robert “Medicine Woman, Dr.” Quinn was healthy enough to make his debut, and it didn’t take him long to show us why the Bears guaranteed him $30M.  Just 90 seconds after taking the field, on his 3rd play as a Bear, Domo Arigato Mr. Roberto got a strip-sack that was recovered by The “Captain And” Khalil Mack.  It might’ve been Quinn’s only tackle, but it was worth the extra week’s wait.

The Quinn & Mack pairing may be the most dynamic duo since
Batman & Robin, Han & Chewbacca, or even Crocket & Tubbs!

Our D came away with 3 other sacks, via Khalil, Akiem, and Barkevious “That’s Slang For A Dog That Barks Mischievously” Mingo, our new 8th-year veteran OLB.  And DB Deon “Push, Push In The” Bush got his 1st-career pick in his 56th game as a Bear!  We almost had a 3rd takeaway in Q4, but Eddie “Excuse Me, But I Believe That Ball Is Mine” Jackson’s 53-yard pick-6 was called back due to a penalty on him for knocking the receiver off the ball as he intercepted it.  In the end, we wound up holding the Giants to 22% on 3rd downs (3 of 13), and limiting them to just 13 points.  And this was possible due to our newly improved pass rush, led by Quinn, who wears Leonard “The Guy He Replaced” Floyd’s #94.  Ouch!

And with a mischievously barking Mingo, there may be no stopping us!

Outlook
We’re 2-0, still undefeated, and still in first place.  That’s a good place to be no matter how you look at it.  Having said that…Mitch turned the ball over twice, and got progressively worse throughout the game.  Christ, he almost blew a 17-point lead the week after overcoming one!  To a team that’s lost 37 of their last 49 games (76%)!  And who lost their best player after the 1st quarter!  So like last week, this win doesn’t put the Bears on the map.  In fact, I STILL question whether or not we can beat another NFL team.  And unfortunately for us, we don’t get to play NY again.

This time the rest of the coaching staff joined in:
“STOP THROWING TO MILLER ON 3RD DOWN!”

But, while GB is tied with us at 2-0, and they scored 43 and 42 so far (against MIN and DET, btw), we don’t have to face them for another TEN WEEKS!  Rodgers may get hurt in that time.  Or traded.  Hell, he could be dead by then!  Ah, we can only hope.  But with MIN and DET both being 0-2, their seasons are already virtually over, and it’s still SUMMER!  So things are looking up for us in the division.  We’ve finally got some legit TEs, which seem to be impacting our blocking, as we gained 135 yards on the ground after rushing for 138 last week.  It’s also helping elsewhere, as we finished 9 of 16 (56%) on 3rd downs.  And if you discount the Miller plays, it’s a whopping 9 of 12 (75%)!

Even Bush (a backup safety) had more catches than Miller!

Quotes of Note
CBS Announcer Ian Eagle, after Mitch’s 2nd TD pass (which resembled a quail with Covid that’d just been shot by Dick Cheney) to rookie WR Darnell “Moo” Mooney:  “And that’s the point with Trubisky.  Is it the prettiest ball?  No.  Did it get there.  Yes.” ~ Like I said, winning ugly.

Thankfully for Mitch, there are 0 points for pretty, and 7 for TDs.
(But yikes, that was ugly!)

CBS Announcer Evan Washburn, after speaking to Giant head coach Joe “Here Come The” Judge about Barkley at the half:  “He described the Saquon loss as a tremendous one.” ~ Well, duh.

Aw, pour widdle Saquon 😦

NBC Sport’s Alex Brown, on Quinn getting a strip-sack on his 3rd play as a Bear:  “His first 3rd down!…MAN!  Let’s keep it rolling.  We finally got somebody on the opposite side of K-Mack that can do damage!” ~ Yes, but neither of them plays offense, Alex.

Nagy to himself:  “Who the hell can I throw to on 3rd down?!”

Akiem, when asked about being 2-0 but still needing work:  “2-0 is never a bad situation, I don’t care how you get it.  2-0 is delicious.  I’ll eat that every day of the week and twice on Sunday.” ~ To maintain that 350-pound “gamebody,” he probably eats EVERYTHING twice on Sunday.

Mitch, looking for anybody BUT Miller…

Eddie “Hooked On Phonics” Jackson, on his dissatisfaction with the penalty call, via Twitter:  “Worst Call I Ever Seen Ref Had The Nerves To Say His Bad…smh.” ~ Grammar, capitalization and punctuation aside, he does have a valid point.  Especially if ref had the nerves to say his bad.

Phonics Jackson was so mad about the call, that he knocked
Barkley out of the game over an hour before it even happened!

Trubisky, on Trubisky:  “We’ve got to finish…we’ve got to put 4 quarters together.” ~ Uhm, no you don’t.  You haven’t done either yet, and you’re 2-0, Truby Tuesday!

What has 2 thumbs, a dirty uniform on the left side,
and is in an 11-way tie for the best record in the NFL?

BEAR DOWN!

Supa Bow, Supa BEARS!

#RBG,RIP

© 2020

This entry was posted on Mon, Sep 21, 2020 at 11:49 pm and is filed under a) NEW 2020 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.