Bear Down Baffa

Whew!  I must admit I’m a tad relieved that we finally lost, but only because I’ve been holding my breath for 3 weeks now.  The 2020 Bears were playing with house money, and we all knew their luck would run out soon.  So, despite Indy calling in our marker, at least we can go back to breathing normally (like Trump, who has definitely NOT been on oxygen).  But we’re now 3-0 with Mitch “Wait, Yawl Talkin’ ‘Bout Trading Me?” Trubisky as our starter, and 0-1 with Nick “I Think We Need More Time To See How This QB Competition Un” Foles.  And I can’t explain it, at least not logically, or without screaming.  But this game came down to some simple math:  the Bears didn’t allow themselves to fall behind by 16 points soon enough.  So we fall to 3-1, making us just 8-8 since we flew to London to get trounced by the Raiders a year ago.  And so the Bear’s never-ending rebuild continues…

Same shit, different QB

The Low Down
We gained only 28 yards on the ground, converted just 4/14 (29%) on 3rd downs, and we got 0 takeaways.  Each of those could lead to a loss in and of itself, but combined, you’re basically asking to lose.  And don’t blame this on our 8 penalties because Indy committed 8 of their own.  We did hold Philip “Here’s How You QB For A New Team” Rivers to his lowest QBR this year (86.9), and Indy to their fewest points this year (19), but you’ll rarely win in the NFL when you only score 11 – especially if you only score 3 before the 2-minute warning.  In fact, that’ll usually get you beaten by the other team’s kicker, which happened this week, as Rodrigo “You Sank My” Blankenship scored 13 points all by himself.

In his defense, Nick didn’t have it easy, as he
was knocked on his blankenship several times

And it wasn’t like we doinked a FG or anything, we just couldn’t move the ball.  Our drives went:  punt, punt, punt, FG, punt, punt, punt, punt, INT, and TD.  And though we did finally reach the endzone with 95 seconds left, and Foles completed his final 8 throws, he missed on each of his 6 prior to that, including finishing that stretch on a redzone pick with about 11 minutes remaining.  That’s the opposite of clutch.  If we wanted that kind of performance, we could’ve just stuck with Mitch – at least he knows how to crawl into a 16-point hole in a reasonable amount of time.  Apparently, Nick thinks waiting 56+ minutes to do so is allowable.

With a 76.4 QBR, Foles will have to keep looking over his shoulder

Doubtlook
You wouldn’t think it was possible, but Nick might actually be WORSE than Mitch.  Of course it’s too early to tell for sure, but losses like this one are what keep you out of the playoffs.  And at this point, I’ve given up any hope for the postseason.  In fact, this loss feels as much of a “taking a turn for the worse” type of game as that Raider game a year ago.  You may remember, we went on to lose 4 straight.  And considering we have to face Tom Brady in just a few days, finishing this season on a 13-game losing streak doesn’t seem outside the realm of possibility to me.  So yeah, my outlook is an all caps NEGATIVE right now.

Can you believe it took me 4 pics to bring up the fannypack?

Quotes of Note
CBS’s Rich Gannon, on Foles with 12 minutes left in Q4:  “It seems like Nick Foles has kind of, a lot like last week late in that game against Atlanta, he’s kinda found his rhythm.” ~ I don’t know what game Rich was watching, but at that point, Nick was 0 for his last 3 passes.

Nick and Nagy seem to be on different pages for some of the
most basic things, like whether Trump was on oxygen or not

CBS’s Greg Gumble, 1 minute later:  “Foles now 0 for his last 5 throwing the ball, and he’s looking at 3rd-and-10…Foles, over the middle, incomplete through the hands of his intended receiver.  And it’s intercepted!” ~ These announcers were about as in synch as Nick and Nagy.

Foles:  “Wait, is that Mitch warming up over there?!
That motherfu@#$%!”

Gumble, at the final gun:  “First win on the road in a long time for the Indianapolis Colts.” ~ Yup, to make things even worse, INDY had lost 6 straight road games, and hadn’t won on the road in 363 days.

Our lone sack came from 6’7″, 300 lb Brent “I Look Like I Ate
Keith” Urban.  I didn’t even know we HAD a whiteboy on D!

Comcasts’s Alex Brown, on Anthony “The Drop” Miller continuing to drop passes:  “The one that was intercepted, it hit him in the hands!  Come on, you gotta catch that!  Anthony Miller has to catch the ball…We’re seeing this week in and week out, balls going through his hands.” ~ 3-13, here we come!

Akiem, to Urban:  “Look at my Anglo-American over here!“

BEAR DOWN!

#IfTrumpIsNotUsingHisOxygenCanTheBearsHaveIt?
#MyAngloAmericanOverHere
#CantWeJustSpotThem16ToStart?

© 2020

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