Bear Down Baffa

After GB lost the early game Sunday, the Bears had jumped back into first place before we even kicked off.  And though our game was extended due to overtime, by 7 pm local time, we were not only out of first place, but we were out of the playoffs altogether.  It’s amazing what 2 losses can do, as the NFL gods came to collect all that fairy dust that had been sprinkled on the first 6 weeks of our season.  They also came to collect our 3 “best” O-linemen, leaving our already wingless crew now also rudderless.  If the Bears are gonna make any headway this year, we have to address this – and by tomorrow.  The trade deadline is Tuesday @ 4 pm.  If we don’t bring any improvements in, it would be the equivalent of throwing in the towel on our season.  So the question for the Bears becomes:  Deal or no deal?

4 O-lineman, 3 defenders, and not 1 block for Foles

The Low Down
Of course the offense didn’t do their job again.  But this loss isn’t on them, especially since they’re basically playing 5 “backups” on the line.  So forget the 5 Saint sacks, forget the fact that Jimmy “Likes Elaine But He Drops Everything” Graham caught just 2 of his 7 targets for a measly 13 yards, and forget that Javon “Musk For Men” Wims got ejected for fighting.  The bottom line is our D got thumped.  We allowed 23 first downs, 394 yards, and 26 points – including letting the Saints score in all 5 quarters.  We got just 1 sack, failed to get a single takeaway, and we extended our league-leading Defensive Penalties For 1st Downs with 2 more (29).  So not only are we without wings or a rudder, we’re also dragging an anchor.

Our 2 best players EACH getting blocked by just 1 guy?!

At least “1 Pick” Nick was back to his old ways, throwing only 1 pick.  He also made several critical, clutch plays.  First, completing a 50-yard bomb in Q2 to Darnell “Must Be The” Mooney.  Second, following it up with a beautiful 24-yard TD pass to Allen “Coo Coo Ca Choo Mrs” Robinson 1 play later.  And both third and fourth, converting two 4th downs on our final drive in regulation that led to our game-tying FG with 0:18 left.  “1 Pick” was 12/14 for 98 yards and 10 points on his two 4th quarter drives (for a 119.6 Q4 QBR).  So other than his 1 pick, his stats were almost identical to Drew Brees’s.  Both threw 41 times, but Brees completed 3 more for a whopping 8 more yards.  So I’m sticking with Nicky Foosball.

Brees: 31/41 (75.6%) for 280 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs, 109.8 QBR

Foles: 28/41 (68.3%) for 272 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT, 92.7 QBR

This TD ball to A-Rob actually traveled about 40
yards in the air – and it was RIGHT on the mooney!

Typical Heartbreak Series That Forces You To Question Your Bears Fandom
The Bears got the ball to begin the 2nd half, starting at our 13 yard-line.  We gained 19 yards on our first 4 plays, making it look like we actually made adjustments at halftime.  But then, facing 3rd-and-4 (at our 32), we took a Delay of Game penalty.  On 3rd-and-9 (at our 27), we took a 9-yard sack.  While lining up to punt on 4th-and-18 (at our 18), we got called for a False Start.  And when we got the punt off on 4th-and-23 (from ALL THE WAY BACK AT OUR 13!), it went 45 yards, but the Saints returned it 42 yards to our 16.  Four 2nd-half minutes had passed, we’d run 5 plays, gained 0 yards, and the Saints had the ball 3 yards from where we started.  Seriously, this is what would happen if my high school team had stepped on the field for the 2nd half.

This is a representation of that drive on Yahoo.  And don’t let
the bright colors fool you, it’s actually dark.  Tragically dark.

Doubtlook
At 5-3, the Bears have now lost 3 of our last 5.  I guess all the analysts are proud now that the Bear’s record matches their performance.  We now trail SEA (6-1), GB, NO, TB, AZ (all 5-2), and LAR (5-3).  Yes, the Rams lost (to a rookie QB, mind you), but because they take the tie-breaker from us (and because we fricken lost again!), we’re stuck behind them for the last Wild Card.  So we’re now on the outside looking in at the post season.  But what just happened to us can also happen to someone else, so things could change back just as quickly.  Like, say, if we trade for 5 new O-Lineman.  The GOOD news is that we still get to play GB twice.  The BAD news is that we still have to play GB twice.  This is definitely the lowest point in our season so far.

I mean, it’s almost like our O-line doesn’t want
to give “1 Pick” the chance to throw his 1 pick!

Quotes of Note
Fox’s Troy Akiman, on the Bears midway through Q3:  “Its been awful, it’s been a total team collapse.  Starting with the last possession of the 1st half…this defense was awful, and this offense has been atrocious here their first 2 possessions (in the 2nd half).  And I know Matt Nagy said no, he was not going to go with Mitch Trubisky at any point.  But if I was him, I’d start thinking about it.” ~ Jesus, has this guy ever heard himself?  ALL he’s done is rip on Mitch for 3 years!

Mitch actually came in for 1 snap on our 1st drive, rushing for 3
yards, and prompting Aikman to suggest the Bears bench him.

Aikman, contradicting himself yet again after we tied it with 0:13 left in regulation:  ”This has been one of the uglier offensive performances.  But like we talked about, the Bears are down 10 and it looks pretty bleak, and yet you just can’t count Nick Foles out.  He took them down the field…to tie it up.” ~ Dude, you JUST counted Nick Foles out like 20 minutes ago!

Nagy, to himself:  “Hmm, which shitty play do I call next?”

Aikman, on Wims after his penalty and disqualification:  “That’s just not smart football.  And he can think about it in the locker room here shortly.” ~ In pre-game discussions, Troy was calling Wims the presumptive MVP.

It looks like someone updated Wims’ Wikipedia page…

Jimmy “Likes Elaine,” via Twitter:  ”I wasn’t good enough.  I let my team, my city and myself down.  I own it.  I will be better.” ~ Wait, didn’t he already say something just like that after he dropped several balls in week 1?  Of course he did…

Jimmy, after several drops in week 1:  “I hold myself to a high standard.  Earlier in that first half, you know, I got to make those plays.  And I will moving forward.  I guarantee that.” ~ Someone should provide a definition of the word “guarantee” to Jimmy.  And read him the story “The Boy Who Cried Wolf After The Wolf Ate His Vagina.”

Jimmy, on the ground after letting a ball thrown to him get
picked off by #23 Marshon “Marshon Marshon” Lattimore

Comcast’s (and former Bear’s DE) Alex Brown, responding to Jimmy:  “I need you to play better on Sunday!  I don’t need you to go on Twitter so you can ‘own it.’  You (already) own it – you still get your check!  Turn down that check this week, how ‘bout that?  Don’t come out talking about ‘I’m sorry’…go do your job!” ~ I hope Jimmy likes constructive criticism.  I also hope these two meet out on the playground during recess.

Thanks to Jimmy, apparently this is now THEIR house

BEAR DOWN!

#Don’tForgetToVote
#MakeTheBearsGreatAgain
#MakeAmericaTheBearsAgain

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