Bear Down Baffa

The 2020 Chicago Bears are a joke.  A gif, like that monkey peeing into his own mouth.  But despite the hilarity, I’m not laughing.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  If I were to create a new gif to capture how I feel about the Bears, it would be a little boy sleeping under a Christmas tree full of presents next to a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.  And then Santa Claus and Jesus sneak in quietly and head for the tree.  As Santa holds his empty bag open, Jesus takes all the boy’s presents and puts them into the bag.  Then, as Jesus pours the milk over the boys head, waking him up, Santa kicks him square in the nuts, and yells, “Ho Ho Ho!”  And as they both trod out laughing hysterically, the boy’s parents come in, high five them and then pose for selfies as the boy sits soaked in milk – and confusion – cupping his balls, crying.  And he hasn’t even realized that he won’t get any presents yet.  How that boy will feel when he learns of this on Christmas morning – that’s how I feel about the 2020 Bears.

Christ, when is Rodgers going to die already?!

The Low Down
If you don’t count the possessions GB had at the end of each half (which I don’t), where they’re just running out the clock, they had 7 drives.  And they scored 6 TDs (2 punts, 1 defensive TD).  You can’t suck much worse than that.  On the Bears 1st 7 possessions, we turned it over 3 times, punted twice, settled for a FG after a 57-yard carry gave us a 1st-and-goal at the Packer 8, and scored our 1st offensive TD in 3 weeks.  But the TD was at the end of the 1st half when we already trailed by 24, and that drive took us 20 plays, including 3 failed attempts from the GB 3, and a Packer penalty that gave us a 1st down at their 1 before we were able to finally push it in.  Our last 2 drives led to TDs, but they were both in Q4, when we trailed by 31 and 24 respectively, and after GB had allowed fans to come down on the field to try their hand at playing defense.

Some of the fans that would later suit up for GB in Q4

Granted, our O-line had just one starter playing the same position that he did in week 1, as that group continues to be a revolving door – if that door was full of holes and kept falling off the hinges.  And with Akiem “A Saw, A Conquered” Hicks out injured, it’s no surprise that our D suffered.  But I never thought I’d use the word “abysmal” to describe a Bear’s defense, yet that’s the best compliment I can come up with.  We let A-A-Ron Rodgers walk down and score TDs on 5 of his 1st 6 possessions, averaging almost 60 yards per drive.  If the Bears had started 11 dead bodies on defense, you’d get virtually the same result.  It kinda makes you wonder if Pace and Nagy will make it through the week.

What’s with teams throwing parties in our endzone?  And with no
social distancing?  Also, there are WAY too many men on the field.
Is that why we lost, because GB had 22 guys playing all at once?

In our Pre-Season Preview, we kind of predicted what would happen with the Troubador and “1 Pick” Nick:  “Mitch…will get yanked by week 4.  But the fragile Foles won’t last long (maybe 6, 8 games tops), so Mitch will return before the regular season ends.”  Mitch got yanked in week 3, and Nick lasted 7 starts.  I find no pleasure in being right, though, as Mitch’s return was not seen as any kind of solution.  He threw 3 TD passes, sure, but they were all in garbage time.  He also personally had 3 turnovers, all of which led to Packer TDs (though in his defense, only 1 was on the same play as the turnover itself).  He completed passes to 9 different players, but unfortunately, only 8 of them were Bears.  GB defender Darnell “Mitch Is My Bitch” Savage wound up tying for the 6th most receptions among Mitch’s receivers:

Savage had more catches than 2 of our receivers.  Maybe
we can trade for him and convert him into a WR next year?

Outlook
After somehow maintaining 2nd place in our division and the #8 NFC playoff seed, we finally dropped to 3rd place and the 9th seed, achieving our 1st losing record (5-6) of the season.  But because we’ve been SO bad, and will undoubtedly continue to be, things are about to get interesting for next year’s draft.  We’re currently ranked 19th in the NFL, meaning we’d pick 14th.  Shockingly, 10 of the 13 teams ranked behind us have at least 3 wins, meaning they trail us by 2 games or less – with 5 still left to play.  And 7 of those 10 have at least 4 wins.  So, even though we can’t catch CIN (2-8-1), JAX (1-10), or NYJ (0-11), we could jump 10 teams when we lose out, and slide into the #4 draft slot.  Which we could then trade up to use on another QB who busts.  So, we’ve officially entered what we at the BDB blog call “Playing For The Draft” mode, or PFTD.  Not to be confused with BFD, which is how we feel about the Bear’s 5 wins.

Hey, who’s ready to Play For The Draft?!

Quotes of Note
Fox’s Tony Dungy, after Rodgers’ 3rd TD pass with 4 ½ minutes left in the 1st half:  “It’s so unbelievable.” ~ He thought THAT was unbelievable?  The Pack went on to more than double (41) their score at the moment of that quote (20).

We’re still not sure who was more surprised by the
2 Savage picks – Mitch, Savage, or Savage’s coach

Fox’s Mike Tirico, in the game’s final minute:  “The Bears are gonna drop to 5-6, and they are NOT (he emphasized that word, not me) in any sense out of it, as AZ is sitting there at 6-5 in that last (playoff) spot.” ~ LOL.  I think Mike should stick to what he knows best:  sexual harassment.

Mitch, doing what he does best:  turning the ball over

Comcast’s Olin Kreutz, on the Bear’s offense:  “Some things they do just doesn’t make sense.” ~ I wish it was, but no, that’s not a typo.

GB looking at Mack while thinking what we’re all thinking –
how can a guy be THAT good, but his team be THAT bad?

BEAR DOWN!

#2020PFTD
#5StraightLossesDown5MoreToGo

© 2020

This entry was posted on Tue, Dec 1, 2020 at 4:43 pm and is filed under a) NEW 2020 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.