Bear Down Baffa

I’m over it.  I’ve been blogging on the Bears since before blogging was a thing.  Starting as an email goof back during our miraculous 2001 season, and eventually leading to this blog in 2007, I’ve been dedicated to hilariously summarizing Bears games each and every week since.  Riding their highs and lows as if they were my own, I’ve used this forum to both celebrate their triumphs and to vent my frustrations with their disasters.  But in that time, while there have been 0 triumphs, there have been far too many disasters to count.  Yet 16 times a year, for 20 years now, I’ve forced myself to come up with nonsensical fodder to explain away the shit-show that the Bears have become.  And if I’m being frank (which is what we do here at BDB), it’s probably been the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.  So, like just about everyone in Trump’s cabinet, I’m forgoing any responsibility for what’s happened, and I’m officially resigning my post.

This Javon “Musk For Men” Wims drop may just
have been the ball that broke this blogger’s back

The Low Down
The first and only time we scored a TD in this game was after time had expired.  On the game’s final play, Jimmy “Likes Elaine” Graham made a sensational one-handed catch in the endzone 2 seconds after the clock had run out on the game – and on our season.  So, in some kind of existentialist metaphor, despite it being the objective of the game, it took the Bears 60 minutes and 2 seconds to move the ball across their opponent’s goal line.  Sure, it was a marvelous play.  But as has been the case over the last, oh, THIRTY-FIVE YEARS, it was too little, too late.

In case you turned your TV off with 0:03 left…
(* also, note that he’s taking the pass away from a teammate)

And that’s how our season ended, of all places, in the end zone of the Superdome (we didn’t even get to kick the PAT).  You may recall that they changed the name from the New Orleans Megadome to the Superdome in 1986 after the Bear’s dominant Super Bowl championship (* citation needed because I just made that up).  But I can think of no better image for capturing the current state of the Bears, and no better way to memorialize this terrible game – or this pathetic season – than this spectacularly meaningless TD catch.  OK, maybe I can think of one better image…

Here’s to hoping Nagy takes his “play-calling”
(and manspreading) talents to South Beach…
Wait a sec – is he assuming “the” position…?

Doubtlook
The Chicago Bears need a timeout.  They need to sit with themselves and re-evaluate who they are and what they’re doing.  Like a wife-beating drug addict, they need some time to cool off and get clean in prison.  Maybe spend some time in the showers so they learn to appreciate the undying love their fanbase thrusts upon them year-in and year-out.  The Bears organization has no competition in Chitown, they have anti-trust protection from the gov’t, and they receive millions in state funding – and for what?  There is no reason for them to win.  We follow them blindly no matter the result.  And when you continue to support mediocrity, that’s just Socialism (* see 108 years of the cubs).

Me, talking to the Bears every week for the past 3 decades…

The Bears should’ve just left their season where it belonged – back in 2020.  Had we just PFTD’d and lost out, we’d be drafting in the top 10.  I’m calling “Illegal Use of COVID” on the NFL for letting a welfare team like us into a tournament of men to begin with.  In hindsight (even though foresight saw this as well), there is no way the Bears should’ve been a playoff team this year.  And now, counting the post season, we’re 16-18 (.470) in our last 34 games.  We’re going backwards!  We need a new owner, a new president, and a new CEO.  Not to mention a new GM, a new head coach, a new QB and a new O-Line.  And, unfortunately, now you’re all going to need to find a new “low down that you’ll get nowhere else on your Chicago Bears.”

You can point the finger at Manti Te’o all you want,
but in my opinion, this is clearly on Bear ownership

And so, after 265 posts, 22,000 views, and almost 500 reader comments (almost 100 of which were NOT my mom), I’m FINALLY taking a stand – by stepping down.  Much like I did with the Blackhawks (from 1995-2010), the White Sox (from 2011-2020), and the Bulls (from 1997-forever).  And I’m sorry, but I’m not going to apologize.  I have all the justification I need for flashing double birds to the Bears, to blogging in general, and even to you, my 4 dedicated readers.  Because, just like me, and just like this blog, YOU are part of the problem.  I’m doing my part by peace-ing out.  The question now is:  what are YOU going to do?

If you’re still not convinced, consider this…
Lt. Pete Mitchell has thrown 64 TDs and 37 INTs over 4 years.
Deshaun Watson is 104/36, while Patrick Mahomes is 114/24.
(We passed on M’holmes & Watson, trading up to #2 for Mitch)

BEAR DOWN!

#AdiosAmigos

Me and Akiem are starting a boycott.  Who’s coming with me?

© 2021

This entry was posted on Tue, Jan 12, 2021 at 7:48 pm and is filed under a) NEW 2020 Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.